Should I chow down on this jaw muscle trainer?
8.3.2022
Translation: Katherine Martin
When I discover the «Jawliner» jaw muscle trainer in our sports range, two questions spring to mind. The first: what on earth is that supposed to be? The second, which I’d like to pose to you, the reader: should I try it out?
Soon, I might look like I’ve swallowed a hockey puck. Either that, or I’ll look unexpectedly attractive. Who knows how two little plastic cubes will change my life. In any case, the «Jawliner» immediately activates my facial muscles when I spot it in our sports range – by making me laugh. Looks like yet another trend has passed me by. My colleague Natalie Hemengül informs me that on TikTok and other platforms, the «Jawline check» has, in fact, been a thing for a long time.
But not in my world. I’ve got bigger fish to fry. Recently, my son has been asking: «Daddy, are you sad?» increasingly often. He does it whenever I’m staring into space, lost in thought, unaware of my own facial expressions. I usually reply, «No, I'm just old.» That’s a bit of a fib – the state of the world has been dragging down the corners of my mouth, too. Then I grit my teeth and force a smile. So, I might as well chew some silicone food and build up my muscles.
After all, the jaw training is so beautifully advertised. The manufacturer claims: «Chewing on the Jawliner is indistinguishable for the jaw joint from chewing on a hard piece of meat.» Mmm. Well done, PR department. I haven’t eaten meat for some time now, and that feeling is the thing I miss about it the least. It’s actually a different, related product that gets my mouth watering.
«The bones are flavoured with bacon, chicken or mint aromas,» says the chew toy product description, going on to state that the plastic bones are very appealing to dogs. It’s also more reasonably priced than the counterpart for vain people. With the latter, the manufacturer can probably hit higher margins. After all, investing in your own appearance can, of course, be worthwhile.
The promise of beauty
Jawliner reels me in with a statement on their website: «The scientific community has shown that we are more attracted to people with chiseled facial features». It goes on, continuing to speak confidently for all of us: «We love faces with strong, squared jawbones and hollow cheeks because they emanate self-confidence and look more interesting.» Let’s see if the claim stands up in the face if a representative Galaxus poll.
Is a chiselled jawline more attractive?
- Yes, Team Jawline all the way!56%
- No! I'm Team Hamster Cheeks.44%
The competition has ended.
If the Jawline appeals to the two-legged, as opposed to the four-legged demographic, then I’m ready to get my teeth into it. Our editorial team likes to experiment and test things – no filter, warts and all. Just because some TikTok influencer wants to show off their absurdly toned facial muscles, it doesn’t mean that jaw joint training is healthy or recommended for you or me. As a chewing-gum hater, I’ll pretty much be starting from scratch. As long as a majority is interested, I’ll soon be working my somewhat flabby cheeks into two hunks of plastic. Over the coming months, I’ll report on what it does to my facial muscles – and my ego.
Should I try out the «Jawliner»?
- Sure, get your teeth into it!76%
- Nah, let it bite the dust!24%
The competition has ended.
Feel free to share your questions, experiences and advance mockery in the comments. It won’t hurt me. If the manufacturer is to be believed, I’ll soon be a whole new person. There is, after all, a tick next to the «Become a rockstar: Your friends won’t recognise you» bullet point on its website. So, will the Jawliner tick all of my boxes? Or will it just tick me off? I’d like to find out.
Michael Restin
Senior Editor
Michael.Restin@digitecgalaxus.chSimple writer and dad of two who likes to be on the move, wading through everyday family life. Juggling several balls, I'll occasionally drop one. It could be a ball, or a remark. Or both.
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