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Embarrassing stories from the doctor's surgery

29.5.2019

Translation: machine translated

You don't have to be embarrassed at the doctor's. At least that's what I was told. Here are five stories that put this statement to the test.

The most unappetising (and therefore most amusing) stories are often unpacked over a cosy lunch. At least that was the case recently in our editorial team. The topic: embarrassing anecdotes from the doctor's surgery. I have compiled our stories for you, but I recommend that you only read the following lines after you have eaten your meal. As a dessert, so to speak. I'll start with this:

Four years ago, I went to my gynaecologist's holiday replacement with an acute bladder infection. Once there, the unfriendly practice assistant immediately pressed a cup into my hand. She needed a urine sample. So I disappeared to the toilet. After spending all my concentration on aiming, I placed the full cup on a piece of toilet paper next to the sink so that I could wash my hands in peace. When I went to reach for the towel, I knocked over my urine sample. My heart stopped. Fortunately, it landed safely in the rubbish bin. I burst out laughing hysterically and hoped that the lady at reception would at least take the whole thing with a sense of humour. She didn't. But the gynaecologist did.

Vanessa Kim had a similarly embarrassing experience in the practice toilet:

"Once I had to give a urine sample. Armed with the cup, I made my way to the loo. Unfortunately, I had to go to the loo so urgently that I stupidly came out without any pee in the cup. I had actually forgotten to pee in the cup. The receptionist was anything but amused."

Carolin Teufelberger also had problems with a sample:

"A few years ago, I was plagued by severe stomach cramps. They were so persistent that I couldn't avoid visiting a specialist. In addition to very unpleasant things like a colonoscopy and an MRI, I also had to send in a stool sample. Packed in a plastic container and envelope, I wanted to post it in one of the yellow letterboxes. But despite a few forcible attempts, my parcel wouldn't fit through the slot. I had no choice but to hand in my sample at the counter. With flushed cheeks, I handed the envelope to the extremely friendly employee. I wonder if she would have done the same if she had known what she was holding in her hands."

Apropos, when it comes to chairs, Raphael Knecht is nobody's fool:

"When I was about 18 years old, I struggled with severe abdominal pain, bad cramps and nausea for a long time. I could barely walk upright, let alone sleep peacefully at night. Despite my aversion to doctors, I rang the doctor. The friendly receptionist answered the phone. She promptly gave me an appointment, but wanted to know more details. "How is your chair?" she asked. At the time, I had no idea what this medical term stood for. So I thought of the obvious, namely the office chair I was sitting on during the phone call. But that made no sense to me in connection with my stomach cramps. I almost wanted to answer with "black and soft" (which ironically would have fitted), but then decided in favour of: "What exactly do you mean?" She replied: "What is the consistency of your bowel movements?" First stool and now bowel movement. Before I could embarrass myself any further, the lady realised that I didn't understand what she was talking about and switched to children's slang: "What about your gaggi?" To this day, I still laugh heartily when I visit the doctor when the assistant in question is sitting at reception."

Less embarrassing for the patient, but more so for the doctor, is Simon Balissat's story:

"I once had to go to a permanent centre on a Saturday as an emergency because I wanted to fly to Portugal that afternoon but could barely walk. I had already been to my GP, whose first name is Urs, for the same ailment. When the woman asked me who else I was seeing, I told her the name of my GP. She then replied rather disparagingly: "Ah, dä Pille-Ursli". Apparently my GP is known for his casual approach to prescription medication."

Have you ever embarrassed yourself at the doctor's or experienced something funny? Then tell us your story, we want to have something to smile about too. 😅💉💊

7 people like this article

Natalie Hemengül

Senior Editor

Natalie.Hemenguel@digitecgalaxus.ch

As a massive Disney fan, I see the world through rose-tinted glasses. I worship series from the 90s and consider mermaids a religion. When I’m not dancing in glitter rain, I’m either hanging out at pyjama parties or sitting at my make-up table. P.S. I love you, bacon, garlic and onions.

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