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When your child loses the game – and their temper along with it
by Martin Rupf
Do you have a bath naked when your kids are in the tub?
25.4.2022
The question is, should you wear your swimming costume when your kids get in the bath with you? And is it bad if your kids catch you doing the deed? We’ve got an expert here to weigh in.
«Can you kiss your child on the mouth?» is a question I covered in my last article. Your opinions ranged from «it’s the most natural thing in the world» to «I don’t kiss my kids on the mouth because I don’t like the drool». And it didn’t stop at the topic of kissing. Reader «Stiggu» noted: «I’ve heard of dads having a shower with their trunks on when their own kids are in the shower with them because they’re scared of being considered paedophiles.»
There have always been and continue to be families who live in small spaces. Obviously, children will then realise that their parents are sleeping together.
I still have a bath naked with my seven-year-old daughter because it feels right and natural, as you’ve already said. But there are some men who put on swimming trunks when they get in the bath…
Did you know there was a time when the recommendation was to wear trunks in the bath?
No, I didn’t realise. What was the reasoning behind that?
It was probably to avoid the risk of children seeing an erection.
That seems reasonable to me.
That’s because you equate an erection with arousal. If that was really the case while there was a child with them in the bath then yes, that would be cause for concern. But men can sometimes get an erection without any sexual arousal involved.
If the parents have got on a swimming costume in the bath, strictly speaking, shouldn’t children as well?
You could say so, yes. If parents don’t want to be naked in the bath, that’s a stance they’re taking. But if a child doesn’t have on a swimming costume, then that’s when you get an imbalance.
From what age is it inappropriate for children to have a bath with their parent?
There’s not a specific age or limit there either. It’s OK as long as everyone feels comfortable with it. You’ll reach the stage where it gets difficult for space reasons because you hardly have any room and it then definitely feels like you’re too close.
But I still don’t want my kids to «catch» me and my wife having sex.
That’s absolutely fine. Although that probably has less to do with the fact you’re worried your kids could be harmed by realising what’s going on. It’s more about wanting to keep these very intimate moments for you and your wife.
For the last 14 years, Dania Schiftan has been working as a sexologist and psychotherapist in her practice in Zurich. She’s also a psychologist at Parship. You can find out more about Dania and her job in this interview:
I’d be interested to hear your opinion on this. Do you wear a swimming costume when your kids get in the bath with you?
Martin Rupf
Senior Editor
martin.rupf@digitecgalaxus.chHalf-Danish dad of two and third child of the family, mushroom picker, angler, dedicated public viewer and world champion of putting my foot in it.
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