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The smart little octopus that almost wasted away

Pia Seidel
30.12.2022
Pictures: Pia Seidel

Time to lead my «Oktopus» head massager have his say. I owe him that after paying him far too little attention over the past few weeks.

Octopus: «Hi everyone. I’m a Secret Santa gift... Well, at least I’m not one of those rubbish ones. Instead, I was chosen carefully for my new owner, Pia. Maybe because she suffers from headaches or has trouble sleeping. Or both. So, it’s up to me now to work my massaging magic. Or so I thought. It seems more likely that Pia just likes knick-knacks. Why do I think that? Because I’ve been sitting on the shelf unused since I’ve been with her. And this is in spite of me being on display.

All dressed up and nowhere to go – that’s me!
All dressed up and nowhere to go – that’s me!
Source: Pia Seidel
Fitagon Head Massager Octopus
Massagers
CHF73.90

Fitagon Head Massager Octopus

Pia always says she likes me from a visual point of view. And yet, she just won’t put me on her head. Keep in mind that I’m an octopus – or at least inspired by one. That makes me one of the most intelligent molluscs on the planet. I have 14 tentacles and have mastered five different techniques to relax the head muscles through vibration. This stimulates blood circulation and can improve sleep. It’s a job I’m more than happy to do and take very seriously. After all, it sets me apart from the wooden elephant next to me. He’s not really good for anything.

I need a challenge instead of sitting about idly.
I need a challenge instead of sitting about idly.
Source: Pia Seidel

But my talents don’t end there. I play music, too. During massages, I play my own pieces or whatever Pia wants via Bluetooth.
At 220 grammes, I’m light as a feather and extremely agile. But I’m still stuck here where she left me. It’s not fair! I could be out there giving massages around the world. But how do I get out of this place, if she won’t even let me wander into the next room? My only fun days are when visitors come over. That’s when I finally get to do what I do best. When they put me on their head, and I get to work, the guests always start to laugh. They seem to enjoy my massages.

Pia even pays more attention to me on those occasions. I’m dusted off and sometimes even get to massage her. But after just a few days, the joy is over. Then I’m right back to
«sitting, waiting, wishing». Except that I don’t enjoy it as much as Jack Johnson.

Maybe I should just relax. You know, enjoy the view and be grateful that I didn’t end up in a cardboard box in the cellar. But this boredom is killing me.

If you’re patient, you’re likely to see a silver lining.
If you’re patient, you’re likely to see a silver lining.
Source: Pia Seidel

Sometimes I think about throwing myself off the shelf to get her attention. Or I could try to sneak into a guest’s pocket on the next occasion. If my jet propulsion is as good as that of an octopus, I think I could pull that off. But what if things are the same with that person and their initial enthusiasm quickly fades? Or worse. What if they put me to constant use? Could I even manage, now that I’m totally out of practice?

But just one day later, my doubts are gone. I’ll have to take that risk to get out of here. That’s crystal clear to me. After all, I’ve got a 50/50 chance that things will get better. But before I can plan my escape, Pia beats me to it. I hear her speak to someone on the phone. It’s not someone she knows, but a guy named Marios from a resale platform. Jackpot! This means my new owner has actually paid for me to be with him. He must need me. Whatever awaits me at my new home, things can only get better. They do say good things come to those who wait.

If you’re patient, you’re likely to see a silver lining.
If you’re patient, you’re likely to see a silver lining.
Source: Photo: Pia Seidel

This massaging tool was given to me as a Secret Santa gift by my teammate Natalie Hemengül. The goal? To write as creative an article as possible on it. Other articles featured in this series are here:

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    Bombe de Bain: the bath bomb business that’s making a splash

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Like a cheerleader, I love celebrating good design and bringing you closer to everything furniture- and interior design- related. I regularly curate simple yet sophisticated interior ideas, report on trends and interview creative minds about their work.


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