Safe VR porn consumption made easy
3.10.2017
Translation: machine translated
Video: Stephanie Tresch
One user has asked what he can do to prevent his PC from being damaged when watching VR porn. It wasn't just the Community that looked into it, but also a think tank made up of Galaxus employees. Here are our suggested solutions.
A VR headset is, according to the manufacturers, a device that transports users into new worlds and allows them to become space pilots or racing drivers. Today, user Wunschkindvr described an everyday problem that many users have with their new Oculus Rift: Porn consumption.
Bought the glasses from Digidec last week. I'm very satisfied so far. the only flaw in my opinion is that you can't see where you're ejaculating when watching VR porn. Does anyone have any suggestions on how I can change this without taking the glasses off? I would like to be "done" with the glasses. I don't think my PC is "waterproof"
merci for your suggestions - Wunschkindvr
Also, despite the fact that your question comes across as far removed from any grammar and spelling: We are called digitec and not Digidec. Just for the record.
Myself and video producer Stephanie Tresch have tackled this problem and essentially found three possible solutions.
- Control of the liquid
- Control of the angle
- Control of the distance
The question tells us that it doesn't really matter where the peak goes as long as it's not on the PC. Graphically, it looks like this
.
In essence, the only thing to do is to miss the Danger Zone in red. Everything else is fine. With these prerequisites in mind, we set to work.
Controlling the liquid: the waterproof PC
Since male ejaculate, just like the human body, consists largely of water, we can assume without field research - we don't have the time today because Wunschkindvr could damage his PC tonight - that a normal water seal will protect the PC.
Most PC cases are not waterproof. Why should they be? Because if a PC needs to be properly ventilated, it needs to have air holes. Water can also penetrate through air holes, which can damage the machine.
That's why we recommend looking at military computer systems. They have laptops in the field that are designed to deliver performance and resilience. Panasonic, among others, manufactures such laptops under the Toughbook banner.
But larger PCs are also unprotected in the military, where the architects of the bases and their infrastructure rely on environmental control. In other words: the base is waterproof and bombproof, not the PC.
So we need other solutions that allow air to flow but keep liquid out. Fortunately, our protective device only needs to be able to withstand a small amount of liquid and not contain flash floods.
A few screws, a bit of sawing and the seed-repellent hardware firewall is ready.
Cuff play: Checking the angle
We can see from Wunschkindvr's post that he is probably sitting on an office or gaming chair that can swivel. This is the only way he could accidentally get himself into the Danger Zone, which would damage his PC.
Since a swivel chair cannot simply be blocked without further ado, an alternative solution must be found. And it's simple. Start the film, turn 180 degrees and you're done.
We can't block the swivel thread without permanently changing the function of the chair, but we can block the chair. A little rope can help here.
The rope solution also has the advantage that it can be used as an erotic toy. No rope to hand? Cables can also help.
When using cable, just make sure it's long enough so that you can tie a good knot in it. And when having fun for two: be careful, because cables can leave nasty pressure marks.
Blockade: control the distance
The third way to prevent unwanted seminal fluid from entering the PC is the least technologically sophisticated. We utilise a classic masturbation method here: the sock.
Just slip it on and that's it.
The Community's suggestions
Of course, it wasn't just me and Stephanie who helped Wunschkindvr out. The Galaxus Community also had their say. Their suggestions:
- "So now for a serious answer: use a condom" - Anonymous
- "Alternatively, you can also buy a Metaltex splash guard or a Fleshlight Fleshlight Stoya Destroya. Especially with the Fleshlight you have even more fun" - Anonymous
Cookware accessories
Quantity discount
CHF6.05 per piece for 3 units
Metaltex Splash guard
29 cm, Plastic, Metal
Thank you, Community, you rock!
So, we hope we've prevented any major damage to Wunschkindvr's PC. Have fun using the VR glasses. And never forget: Stay safe!
Journalist. Author. Hacker. A storyteller searching for boundaries, secrets and taboos – putting the world to paper. Not because I can but because I can’t not.
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