News + Trends

Oh là là! Sexy men, bad films

22.6.2017

Translation: machine translated

Guys, you have to be brave now, because we women are now getting the full load of attractiveness of the "Sexiest Men Alive". You, on the other hand, only get bad films. Because I have watched the most miserable works of the most beautiful men in the world. Here is my ranking.

"Sexiest Man Alive" - as the name suggests, People Magazine chooses the hottest man on earth every year. It is the issue at the very end of each year that we women so eagerly await and that finally shows the title defender. The winner then graces the cover and is our absolute favourite for a whole year. Unless they win the title again at a later date, in which case we can enjoy the sight of them once more.

But they are actually all our favourites and belong on our list of the absolute hottest men in the universe - forever. The Rock and Chris Hemsworth are still newcomers, while Brad Pitt and George Clooney have been in the pond of the most beautiful for a little longer. No matter how long they've been in the business, we love them all! And we love their films. Because the sight alone is enough for us - although we've certainly all wished we could conjure our beloved off the screen at some point.

Since "Magic Mike" at the latest, we women know what it means to drool over the cinema screen - and we want to see more! Here we show you the most attractive men in the dream factory and one of their films.

Because we're happy with the view alone, we've chosen their worst films. Because then we can switch off in our heads, lean back and enjoy the concentrated load of testosterone to the full. Even if the film is actually totally stupid.

Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson

Age: 45
Love life: The Rock marries film producer Dany Garcia in 1997. The marriage, which produced a daughter, ended in divorce in 2008. Singer Lauren Hashian has been The Rock's girlfriend and constant companion since 2007.
Elected Sexiest Man Alive: 2016
Baddest film: Tooth Fairy on Parole (2010)

The story is simple - Dwayne Johnson doesn't believe in the tooth fairy and has to serve as a tooth fairy for a fortnight as punishment. "The Rock in a tooth fairy costume" sounds much better as an idea than the realisation. If you're looking for excitement or funny memories of a film, then you're in the wrong place with "Tooth Fairy on probation".

Derek Thompson (Dwayne Johnson) is a professional ice hockey player, or rather, he used to be. Because the glory days are over, and today he often takes on the role of mascot. However, the nickname "Tooth Fairy" still haunts him to this day, as he liked to knock his opponents' teeth out with the puck during his playing days. So although he often came into contact with dental work, he has little faith in the tooth fairy, which he calls hocus-pocus.

When he even tries to disabuse his girlfriend's young daughter Carly (Ashley Judd) of her belief in the myth, he is ruthlessly punished: the fairy kingdom orders him to work a two-week Tooth Fairy shift and our sexy "The Rock" has to slip into a silk outfit.

"Tooth Fairy on Parole" definitely promises a laugh or two, but leaves us with a big question mark at the end of the film: "What on earth was I watching?" Director Michael Lambeck jumps from scene to scene too randomly, and somehow the whole film doesn't seem to reach a real punchline. And although we have seen from Arnold Schwarzenegger in "The Kindergarten Cop" that former action stars can work in comedies, "Tooth Fairy on Parole" is probably more of a flop for Johnson. But we don't think it's really the ex-wrestling star's fault, because he cuts a pretty good figure even in a fairy costume. Sorry, but the flop must simply be down to the direction!

Chris Hemsworth

Age: 33
Love life: The beautiful blonde has been married to actress Elsa Pataky since 2010. They have three children and live happily in Chris's home country of Australia. So the beau is happily taken - sorry, ladies!
Vote for Sexiest Man Alive: 2014
Baddest film: Ghostbusters (2016)

Abby Yates (Melissa McCarthy) believes in ghosts and always has. Despite all the nasty comments from society, she holds on to her belief. When her old friend Erin Gilbert (Kristen Wiig) suddenly storms into her office, which the mad scientist Abby shares with engineer Jillian Holtzmann (Kate McKinnon), Abby drags Erin to an old mansion that is supposedly haunted. What they experience there changes everything and suddenly Erin also believes in ghosts again - even though the physicist had a serious job lined up at Columbia University.

The three women join forces and want to protect the world from evil spirits as the "Ghostbusters". With the support of underground employee Patty Tolan (Leslie Jones) and handsome Kevin (Chris Hemsworth) as their secretary, they form an anti-ghost squad.

The original from the 80s was a huge success, but the remake can never hold a candle to it. The film by director Paul Feig focuses far too much on sexist jokes and too little on the actual plot. The fact that the new "Ghostbusters" team should consist exclusively of women was initially quite cool in the trailer, but when I had my first look at the film, I was disappointed. It seems more like the Hollywood remake wants to show us that women can also get things done, but not quite as casually as men do.

Although the film is brimming with far too many discriminatory scenes, "Ghostbusters" makes us smile. There's no point in suppressing laughter, because "Thor" actor Chris Hemsworth comes across as freshly uplifting amidst all the bad humour. The Australian shows a completely different side for once and we think: More, more, more! We love Hemsworth as sexy secretary Kevin and that alone makes the film worth the watch.

Ghostbusters - Answer The Call (DVD, 2016, German, English, Spanish)

Children's film + Family film

Quantity discount

CHF10.70

Ghostbusters - Answer The Call

DVD, 2016, German, English, Spanish

Channing Tatum

Age: 37
Love life: The handsome US-American has unfortunately been married to actress and dancer Jenna Dewan since 2009 - so sadly he's no longer available.
Vote for Sexiest Man Alive: 2012
Baddest film: Magic Mike XXL (2015)

The story of Mike (Channing Tatum) and his stripper friends, Big Dick Richie (Joe Manganiello), Ken (Matt Bomer), Tito (Adam Rodríguez) and Tarzan (Kevin Nash), enters its second round. Three years after the infamous Magic Mike parted ways with his group to set up his own carpentry business, he receives a call from Tarzan, who tries to explain to him that their old boss Dallas (Matthew McConaughey) has passed away. However, it's just a misunderstanding - because he's actually just abandoned the group and run off to Macau.

Together, they decide to follow Mike's example and retire. But they only want to let the dolls dance once more. And Mike should definitely be there, because as Magic Mike he brings in the most female stink-eyes. They want to go on a road trip to Myrtle Beach, where a big stripper convention is taking place and they want to say goodbye with an unforgettable show and a big bang.

We think: The first part would have been enough. The continuation is a nice additional 115 minutes of strippers that we women can hardly get enough of, but the story doesn't have many surprises in store. Nevertheless, all die-hard Magic Mike fans should definitely not miss Tatum's second adventure as a stripper.

Children's film + Family film

Quantity discount

CHF9.50

Magic Mike XXL

DVD, 2015, German

Bradley Cooper

Age: 42
Love life: The beau was married to actress Jennifer Esposito from 2006 to 2007. He recently had his first daughter with girlfriend and Victoria Secret model Irina Shayk. Seems like all of Hollywood's beauties are in steady hands - shit!
Vote for Sexiest Man Alive: 2011
Baddest Film: Hangover 2 (2011)

Director Todd Phillips made film history with "Hangover". This makes the sequel to the hilarious film all the more unnecessary. While the first part is all about Doug's (Justin Bartha) bachelor party, the second part sees dentist Stu (Ed Helms) getting married in Thailand.

And of course the whole story repeats itself. Everything starts all over again, and although the wild wolf pack and Stu in particular have resolved to take things slowly this time, Doug, Stu, Phil (Bradley Cooper) and Alan (Zach Galifianakis) wake up in Bangkok the day after the stag party with no memory of the night before. The bride is desperately waiting and worried about her groom - will he turn up at the last second and everything go well?

If you're a fan of the first instalment of the "Hangover" trilogy, you still shouldn't miss the second and third parts. Because a true fan should also watch the crazy party clique in the total crash in Thailand. Although the script is almost identical to that of the first part, the humour remains the same and the jokes hit the mark again in this part. The only problem is that we viewers already know all the jokes from the first part.

Children's film + Family film

Hangover 2

DVD, 2011, Spanish, English, German, French

Ryan Reynolds

Age: 40
Love life: The Canadian actor has been happily married to fellow actress Blake Lively since 2012, who he incidentally met on the set of 'Green Lantern'. Hollywood's dream couple had baby number two in autumn 2016. Before that, the heartthrob was married to Sexiest Woman Alive Scarlett Johansson for three years - Reynolds has a thing for sexy curves and Hollywood's most beautiful women.
Elected Sexiest Man Alive: 2010
Baddest film: Green Lantern (2011)

Probably the worst superhero film of all time. Although there would be an infinite number of stories about the DC Comics superhero Green Lantern, director Martin Campbell puts his foot in his mouth.

Test pilot Hal Jordan (Ryan Reynolds), who is enjoying his bachelor life to the full, encounters a dying alien in a crashed flying object, and his whole life changes in one fell swoop. Because Hal is suddenly chosen to save the world.

As part of the Green Lantern Corps, which is responsible for maintaining the balance of the universe, he has to work out a master plan together with guardians from other planets to defeat the villain Parallax (Clancy Brown). Hal initially thinks he's in a dream, but ends up becoming the first human Guardian leader, without whom the universe would have been destroyed long ago...

With plenty of self-irony and a few smirks, no true Ryan Reynolds fan should miss "Green Lantern" - because even if the film doesn't scream masterpiece, the Canadian actor cuts an excellent figure in the green, fully computer-animated costume - really, Ryan Reynolds has never worn a Green Lantern costume.

Green Lantern (DVD, 2011, Spanish, English, German, French)

Children's film + Family film

Quantity discount

CHF10.70

Green Lantern

DVD, 2011, Spanish, English, German, French

Hugh Jackman

Age: 48
Love life: Forget it girls! Jackman is the absolute gentleman, and has been married since 1996 (!) - to the much older actress Deborra-Lee Furness. Even 20 years later, the couple still seem to be freshly in love and also have two adorable children.
Elected Sexiest Man Alive: 2008
Baddest film: Eddie the Eagle - Anything is Possible (2016)

The film biography of British ski jumper Michael Edwards proves that you can achieve anything with pure willpower. And shows us fashion sins of the 1980s and well-known catchy beats.

For as long as he can remember, Englishman Michael Edwards (Taron Egerton) has dreamed of taking part in the Olympic Games. As a little wannabe, he tries his hand at all categories but fails to discover any sporting talent in himself. But young Eddie refuses to give up and suddenly becomes friends with the idea of ski jumping. Although England and skiing go together as well as snow and summer, the ambitious Brit does everything he can to become an Olympian. And in 1988, the time had finally come: Eddie jumped in front of an audience at the Winter Games in Calgary.

Encouraged by his coach and ex-professional skier Bronson Peary (Hugh Jackman), he goes down in history as "Eddie the Eagle" and becomes a memorable British figure.
Director Dexter Fletcher creates a work that does honour to the real-life Englishman. Full of wit and skilfully realised, "Eddie the Eagle" makes everyone laugh and proves that you should never, never, never give up on your dreams. Only Jackman's performance leaves a lot to be desired and is not very convincing as a bitterly disappointed ex-skiing ace. We wish for more Logan and less frustrated athlete.

Johnny Depp

Age: 54
Love life: Johnny Depp loves the way he presents himself: dangerous and hot! The list of his lovers is long, starting with make-up artist Lori Allison, whom he married in 1983 and divorced two years later. This was followed by a three-and-a-half-year relationship with actress Sherilyn Fenn, four years with actress Winona Ryder, their relationship was followed by four years with model Kate Moss, and then French singer and actress Vanessa Paradis was his partner, from whom he separated in 2012 and with whom he has two children. In 2015, he married Amber Heard, 23 years his junior, with whom he had been in a relationship since 2012. However, the actress filed for divorce a year later. Poor Depp, the eternal single - but good for us!
Elected Sexiest Man Alive: 2003 and 2009
Baddest film: Mortdecai - The Part-Time Crook (2015)

Lord Charlie Mortdecai (Johnny Depp) is a shrewd aristocrat and art dealer who has made most of his money from small-time scams, is married to the beautiful Johanna (Gwyneth Paltrow) and is a bon vivant. Mortdecai enjoys his life to the full, if only personal bankruptcy wasn't peeking around the corner.

Inspector Alistair Martland (Ewan McGregor), who is looking for a stolen Goya masterpiece and needs Mortdecai's help in the hunt, comes at just the right time. The inspector has had his eye on the lord's wife for some time and hopes to get closer to Johanna by working with her. While the clumsy Mortdecai and his loyal sidekick Jock (Paul Bettany) go on the hunt for criminals, danger lurks around every corner. The Russian mafia, top international terrorists and the British secret service are among those blocking the duo's path. But as resourceful as Mortdecai has always been, he overcomes every obstacle.

The only part of his plan that's missing: how does he manage to steal the artwork from the thieves and then also from the law enforcers? Because it would look really good in the lord's collection...

David Koepp's film jumps too much from scene to scene and takes up too many individual stories. The film is somewhat confusing for those who don't like to think too much - like me, for example, on a weekend full of bad films. If you tune in a little later, it's difficult to find the film's central theme. The only good aspect. Johnny Depp shows once again how versatile he is. The quick-change artist presents himself with a moustache and is also completely endearing as an annoying lord. But if more than just the actor and the role had been good, that would have been nice.

George Clooney

Age: 56
Love life: The former playboy has been in a happy marriage with Amal Clooney, who has just given birth to twins, since 2014. We are delighted that the 56-year-old has finally found someone - because he seems completely happy and radiates even more sex appeal than ever before.
Elected Sexiest Man Alive: 1997 and 2006
Baddest film: Burn After Reading - Who's Burning Their Fingers? (2008)

Aged CIA analyst Osbourne "Ozzie" Cox (John Malkovich) is sacked due to an alcohol problem, and as if the ultimate in suffering hadn't already been reached, Cox learns that his wife Katie (Tilda Swinton) is cheating on him with former bodyguard Harry Pfarrer (George Clooney) and wants a divorce. But that's not all: as leverage, the cunning Katie has stolen data from Ozzie's computer that is clearly "top secret". It's safely hidden on a CD... or so she thinks.

The CD turns up in a fitness centre after she stupidly loses it. There, the somewhat dim-witted Chad Feldheimer (Brad Pitt) and his work colleagues find the disc. Together they decide to make money out of their situation and try to blackmail Cox, who is already in a bad way. A series of events unfolds and some of the characters end up paying with their lives...

A far too convoluted story from the Coen brothers, which shows their typical gallows humour and celebrates the dark side. The film is about a bunch of idiots and shows very little depth. If, after an evening at the cinema with "Burn After Reading - Who's Burning Their Fingers?", you don't think you've understood anything, you've done everything right. Because there is not much to understand here and at the end there is a big question mark. A waste of time? I think so, despite the great star cast.

Burn After Reading Who's burning their fingers here? (Blu-ray, 2008, German, English)

Children's film + Family film

CHF10.90

Burn After Reading Who's burning their fingers here?

Blu-ray, 2008, German, English

Brad Pitt

Age: 53
Love life: It was the headline of the century: Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie are getting divorced! Hollywood's biggest dream couple have been going their separate ways since 2016. A couple since 2005, and with six children together, the two Hollywood greats decided to divorce after just two years of marriage. So the Adonis of the most attractive actors is back on the market - good luck, girls.
Elected Sexiest Man Alive: 1995 and 2000
Baddest film: World War Z (2013)

Zombie films are one of those things - they're either really good and funny like "Zombieland" or they're just awful. Although the jackpot was hit with Brad Pitt in the leading role, Marc Forster's "World War Z" disappoints across the board. Well, the effects are great and the zombies look frighteningly realistic thanks to the latest computer technology - but what about the story? It doesn't give much away, just like the typical old regurgitated zombie story.

Humanity is under threat as a virus spreads rapidly and a pandemic that turns people into zombies breaks out for an inexplicable reason. There is no antidote and no one knows how to save the world. This is where UN employee Gerry Lane (Brad Pitt) comes in, who, together with his team, is tasked with finding an antidote and stopping the zombie apocalypse.

But that won't matter in the short term, because Lane has to get his family out of the city, as people are not safe in the cities. Although the family rescue proves somewhat difficult due to the zombie situation, Lane manages to get his family onto an aircraft carrier. But are they really safe there?

I don't care, because the other storyline with the cure has to continue. He has 90 days until humanity is decimated to the point where it can no longer recover and is doomed.

Children's film + Family film

World War Z

DVD, 2012, Turkish, English, German

So, that's it. For now. Hollywood, of course, has an infinite number of bad hams in store that I didn't want to put up with for this list. Because honestly, sometimes enjoying a film was more like torture. Then only one thing helped: A sip of Prosecco. That's why I recommend the following accessories for your film night with sexy guys in grotty films.

Red wine

De Faveri Nera Prosecco Spumante Superiore di Valdobbiadene brut DOCG

2016

Red wine

Terre degli Svevi Re Manfredi IGT

1 x 75 cl, 2016

Red wine

Charles Bonvin Fils Humagne rouge

1 x 75 cl, 2020

Red wine

De Faveri Nera Prosecco Spumante Superiore di Valdobbiadene brut DOCG

Red wine

Terre degli Svevi Re Manfredi IGT

Red wine

Charles Bonvin Fils Humagne rouge

Hope you then! :)

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Vanessa Büchel

vanessa.buechel@gmail.com

I spend my everyday life with writing, eating, sports and sleeping - and in between a lot of humour. I love the summer, ice cream, chocolate, sunsets and walking barefoot. Traveling, exploring new worlds and experiencing adventures. And nothing beats a good pizza with good friends to a good movie.

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Oh là là! Sexy men, bad films

Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson

Chris Hemsworth

Channing Tatum

Bradley Cooper

Ryan Reynolds

Hugh Jackman

Johnny Depp

George Clooney

Brad Pitt

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