Do you also get upset about unnecessary things? I asked a live coach why and what we can do about it.
Just four years ago, I was like the guy in our spot TV. I would get angry about anything and everything. The fact that my anger was eating me up inside decided me to seek professional help from Brigitte Jenni. She works as a nutritional psychologist and life coach and has helped me to find the right balance in my life. For this article, I visited her again.
Is it possible to stop such behaviour? Yes: the person needs to look at the situation as if through a mirror. A mirror that touches a sensitive point in the person and reminds them that they need to work on their personal development. Every situation in which you get angry gives you the opportunity to learn something about yourself or your behaviour and to develop.
Uuups, now you're upset. What to do about it?
According to Brigitte Jenni, if you get upset, the following immediate steps can help:
1. Look at yourself in the mirror A face distorted by anger doesn't look good. By looking in the mirror, we can literally see that anger is something ugly. This is because our skin loses colour and we immediately look older. When we look at our image in the mirror, our facial features relax.
After trouble is before trouble
Always do one thing at a time . That way you put all your attention into what you're doing. This allows you to watch both your body and your breathing to keep a regular pulse. Only those with a regular pulse can remain calm. Therefore, it's advisable to divide major projects into smaller sub-tasks, which you tackle little by little.
Avoid noise Noise and loud music, especially techno and rock, will distract you. Avoid continuous exposure to the sound of television, radio, mobile phones and the like; these are external stimuli that your system has to process.
Meditate There are plenty of simple meditations for people who aren't following a spiritual approach, but just want to calm their minds. Five to fifteen minutes a day can already help to increase emotional and physical well-being.
Create "pit stops" into your daily routine These are short periods spread throughout the day that allow you to recharge your batteries. This could be as follows: ten minutes of meditation in the morning, repeating your mantras to yourself several times during the day and ending the day with a short walk. Be careful not to get distracted and to devote this time solely to yourself.
As a massive Disney fan, I see the world through rose-tinted glasses. I worship series from the 90s and consider mermaids a religion. When I’m not dancing in glitter rain, I’m either hanging out at pyjama parties or sitting at my make-up table. P.S. I love you, bacon, garlic and onions.
Brigitte, why is a serene state of mind desirable? Brigitte Jenni, life coach: if you get angry quickly, you put your body in a permanent state of stress. It produces metabolic waste products such as cholesterol and insulin, as well as stress hormones such as cortisol and adrenaline. This mechanism, which has always been part of our metabolism, signals to the body that it is in a combat situation. Alternating between a state of tension and relaxation would be healthier. Nowadays, many of us suffer from stress all the time. People working in management and politics, and housewives having to look after their children are particularly affected.
Brigitte Jenni explains to me why serenity is important for the body.
How does the body react to this constant stress ? Combined with obesity, high blood pressure, diabetes and skin problems can be a consequence. This is because the body is looking for a way - physical or psychological - to get rid of the adrenaline. You could say that it is sounding the alarm bell to indicate that something needs to be changed in the lifestyle. Symptoms such as abdominal pain, headaches, neck tension, back pain, or pain in the inner thighs can also be signs of stress.
What do you think is the key to a serene attitude? It's important to adopt a new point of view for those everyday situations that irritate us. In other words, if something happens that makes me angry, I need to take a step back, look at the situation objectively and ask myself why it's making me angry. The key word is self-reflection. But most people are so angry that they can't look at the situation from another point of view. Often it's always the same things or situations that make someone angry. We're talking about a pattern that runs through life like a thread. And these patterns don't just happen. Many people then ask themselves: why does the same thing keep happening to me?
Will you give me an example? Five different people can give me the same constructive criticism at work and not one person upsets me. Then comes a sixth person who says exactly the same thing, but with a different tone for example or makes a gesture and suddenly anger erupts. Here, it's up to me to understand why. It could be due, for example, to something that happened in my childhood that I haven't assimilated. Or this person unconsciously reminds me of someone with whom I had bad experiences in the past.
Inhale deeply into your lower abdomen and try to feel your body as soon as anger comes over you.
2. Recite mantras Recite expressions or dogmas. You can also sing or listen to them. Note, however, that their effect increases when you say them out loud. For example: "I'm calm" or "Everything's fine". Positive phrasing is important. Choose the mantra with which you feel most comfortable. The brain doesn't like repetition, so it changes after you've done the exercise twenty or so times, so that you can't get angry and recite the mantra at the same time. That's how you can trick your brain.
3. On the trampoline Sport is great for venting anger. Especially the trampoline. Getting on it in the evening and hopping around a bit is already enough. You can always talk or watch TV at the same time. This will irrigate your fascia and help you relax. Five to ten minutes is enough to get rid of the adrenaline built up over the day. If you've already had a busy day, avoid jogging or brisk walks, otherwise you'll continue to strain your nervous system.
4. Breathe deeply into your belly When you get angry, your breathing is short. So try to breathe deeply into your belly and feel your body. If conscious breathing isn't your thing, you can also drink a glass of water through a straw. This way, you trick your body into automatically adopting abdominal breathing. You'll find more tips and tricks like this in this booklet that Brigitte recommended to me: [[image:21043375]] [[productlist:2391385]]
5. Watch your posture Someone who gets angry slouches. However, if you straighten up or sit up and keep your head up, your feelings will adapt to this positive attitude. Alternatively, if you have the opportunity, you can lie down on the floor. This helps, because your body is programmed not to be able to fight horizontally. In a seated position, however, it is ready to fight. Lying down signals to your body that you are in a safe environment and that it can relax. At the same time, you can breathe more easily into your belly.
6. Get your fry on! Take a pool fry and hold it with both hands. Then bang it with all your might on a chair or bed. Raise your arms high above your head. This will put your body under great strain. With each blow, some of your anger disappears until all your strength is gone. Stomping also works very well. If you don't want to make any noise, you can take a towel, wet it and wring it out until you have no strength left. [[image:21043376 "Body therapy: the pool fries method will reduce your anger blow by blow."]] [[productlist:6233223]]
Now I know how to relax. But how do I stay in that state of mind? Brigitte tells me that impatience, the frantic pace, the ambition to be perfect, overload and multitasking are the natural enemies of serenity. They're linked to my expectations. The only way I can get worked up is if I don't fulfil them. Conversely, if I don't have any expectations, I can stay calm. All this is easier said than done and goes hand in hand with active work on oneself. So Brigitte Jenni gives me some concrete advice:
Protect yourself from energy vampires Don't surround yourself with people who express negative thoughts all the time. These energy vampires, as Brigitte calls them, steal and suck the energy out of serene individuals and pull them down. It's your responsibility to protect yourself against such influences. For them, irritability is part of the elixir of life and part of their self-created identity. Breathing exercises and mantras don't do much in this case, because the problem lies deeper down. Therapy can be useful in such cases. According to Jenni, it's important to notice after just a few sentences whether you're dealing with such a person. If so, get out of the situation quickly.
Brigitte Jenni studied dietetics and psychology at the University of Kiel and specialised in two areas: nutritional psychology and crisis management in various areas of life. She pursues a holistic approach, examining the interaction between cause and effect from a medical, psychological and spiritual perspective. She currently practices in Wabern near Bern and in Kreuzlingen (TG). You can find out more about her here.
