Don't toy with the feelings of a book lover
30.9.2020
Translation: machine translated
There are seven things you should never do to a book. Never, ever, ever!
When I was at gymnasium, I had a little job at the public library: I covered books with self-adhesive protective film. Looking back, I think it was at this point in my life that I developed my tender, eccentric affection for printed works. Since then, books have been sacred to me and should be treated accordingly.
Here are the seven deadly sins that should never be inflicted on a bibliophile.
1. Sacrilege without protection
Do you know what can happen to your book in the depths of your backpack or, worse still, in the narrow space of your handbag? It can suffer scratches, horny leaves, leaked disinfectant stains and, I hardly dare to write it, torn dust jackets. You might as well put your book straight through the shredder! That's why, outside my home, books are only heard, never read. If I ever get the crazy urge to take one of my books on a train adventure, then it has to be well wrapped in a special cloth cover.
Yes, there really is such a thing.
2. Borrowed, used and it's gone
You may think me selfish, but I never lend my books to anyone. And that's for three reasons:
**a)**anyone who likes to take responsibility for other people's property is too carefree a person for my taste and I would never lend my books to such a person;
**b)**the book is always returned to you in a worse condition than when you lent it;
c) on balance, forget about b), because you'll never see your book again anyway.
3. The horns belong to the cows
Folding a page instead of using a bookmark is a lack of discipline and your single ticket to hell. Don't have a bookmark handy? Then use something else. A round of applause for... your memory.
4. Books don't belong on the coffee table
Your coffee table is a dangerous environment for books. Here are four very likely scenarios that will deter you from leaving your open books lying around on the table.
Scenario 1: you spill your overpriced "Pumpkin Spice Latte". Your book, absorbent and with a soft spot for pumpkin, becomes the victim of this fashionable beverage.
Scenario 2: the book survives, thank goodness, the latte and you deposit your empty mug safely on the coffee table, satisfied. Then comes the shock: your books are all discoloured. The merciless rays of the sun have faded the colours of the illustrated cover (incidentally, the real reason you bought them in the first place).
Scenario 3: your friend mistakes your books for coasters and shamelessly puts his raspberry syrup on them. A scar will remain forever.
Scenario 4: a pigeon sneaks into your flat through the transom window and leaves droppings all over you. Your books don't escape. This script has been awarded the « based on a true story label».
Conclusion: take pity on your books and put them away in a library.
5. Stretching books
A paperback is a cheap alternative to a hardback edition. That said, that's no reason to disrespect it by forcing it wide open to make it easier for you to read, or even daring to hold it folded upside down, as in the header photo. Save your book from the creases that will form on its spine and prefer the right angle. Admittedly, your reading field will be considerably reduced and your reading, far from relaxed, but you won't have a guilty conscience.
6. Tattoos
Notes, highlighting in fluorescent pen or your scrawled name mark a book for life. So suppress that narcissistic urge to want to leave your mark everywhere. One day, and believe me, that day will come, you will entrust the book to a second-hand dealer where it will have to show its best side to attract potential new owners. Traces of the past are akin to a love tattoo in honour of an ex. All in all, a real love killer. Only one thing is even more humiliating: the 'defective copy' markings that bookshops slap on their books before tossing them haphazardly onto the shelf, where they lie helpless at the mercy of the greedy fingers of over-eager bargain hunters.
7. Peccadilloes
We've gone over the biggest offences that literary works can be subjected to. Finally, here are a few minor offences to avoid:
- leaving fingerprints on matt bindings, as if you'd just eaten a Big Mac and mistaken the book for the napkin;
- don't remove the price or "bestseller" sticker within 24 hours of purchase to avoid glue residue, or worse, tears;
- remove the dust jacket to make it more "practical".
Be a good person. Be careful and don't toy with the feelings of book lovers. If you still feel the desire to damage a book, then take it out on this one:
Natalie Hemengül
Senior Editor
Natalie.Hemenguel@digitecgalaxus.chAs a massive Disney fan, I see the world through rose-tinted glasses. I worship series from the 90s and consider mermaids a religion. When I’m not dancing in glitter rain, I’m either hanging out at pyjama parties or sitting at my make-up table. P.S. I love you, bacon, garlic and onions.
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