Cat food
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Dreamies Chicken
Adult, 1 pcs., 180 g
Cat vs. eye ointment: a battle in seven acts
19.6.2025
Translation: Jessica Johnson-Ferguson
Pictures: Darina Schweizer
How hard can it be to give your cat medicine? Very. The tips I got from the vet and the internet are useless. At least with our Joy.
«Gently push the legs under the body...» I laugh out loud when my husband shows me a how-to video from our vet. In it, she’s demonstrating how to administer eye ointment to a cat with conjunctivitis. Really easy and relaxed.
But not if our Joy’s involved.
Our cat freaks out at the mere sight of the tube. No wonder, we did pull every trick in the book.
1. The gripping hand
Naïvely, we first thought a firm grip would do. But who’d have thought this would turn our docile, 3.7-kilo cat, who squeaks more than she meows, into a Bengal tiger? On our very first attempt, she leaves me with three big scratches on my wrist and one on my belly, ripping through my shirt, which is now adorned with a stylish hole.
2. The bench
Maybe it’ll work if we stand Joy up of instead of holding her, we think, and try this out on the bench in the corridor. This time, my husband has Joy in a headlock. At least that’s what it looks like. But three seconds in, she’s already wriggled her way out of his arms. «Hold her tight. Hold! Tight!», I pant. «Yeah, yeah,» my husband mumbles. For the next 15 minutes, Joy’s sulking under the sofa while we’re sat in silence above her.
3. The table and armour
Perhaps the bench was too low to pin her down, we think, and have the next brilliant idea: Joy is put on the dining table (not in the culinary sense). This time, I put on two woolly winter gloves as armour, plus a bathrobe over my tattered shirt. A sight to behold, I tell you. Sure enough, I manage to pin her down for a moment. But when Joy sees that tube of ointment, she retracts her neck like a turtle and stares at the ground in defiance. There’s no way my husband can get to her eye like that, so we let her go. I curse.
4. The spoon
If the tube’s the problem, we’ll be needing something else. I have a MacGyver moment with an idea I’m at least twice as sure of as my husband. I reach for a spoon from our kitchen drawer and squeeze a line of cream onto it. As my husband holds Joy, I run the spoon over her eye. Unsurprisingly, she keeps it closed and turns her head to one side. Half of the ointment ends up on her whiskers, the rest on her ear. Great. Just great.
5 The bribe
My husband thinks a cat snack is a bulletproof solution. I’m thinking «dream on», while he’s thinking Dreamies. Joy nibbles on them until we try to grab hold of her. After that, she shoots off as soon as she hears the snack bag rustle. What a bad dreamie. Joy disappears under the bed and keeps us waiting for 15 minutes.
6. The nape
Next, we try to grab Joy by the fold of skin on the nape of her neck. Just like mother cats do with their kittens. And how our vet once did with our cat Jasper. But with Joy, we fail miserably. She’s not freezing one bit, but struggling like mad. «All right, we’ll just let your eye rot then!» I yell after her with a sarcastic undertone. She shoots me an incredulous look from under the sofa.
7. The burrito
Finally, we resort to a trick we find online: the burrito. Simply swaddle your cat in a towel. Haha. What is this? Taco Tuesday? Not in my house at least. On the odd occasion we even reach this step, Joy realises we’re up to something as soon as she feels the towel under her paws. We can practically hear her meow «adios, muchachos» as she jumps off the table.
Hallelujah!
As my husband’s nerves of steel start to fray, I have one last idea. We haven’t tried me pinning down Joy on the bench in the hall yet. And so, I put all my weight on the cat’s little body, push her legs inwards with my arms and force her head upwards with my fingers while keeping it in place with my chin. My husband pries open Joy’s eye with one hand, «The left one, right?» and drizzles the ointment in with the other. Hallelujah, we did it! Only seven more times to go...
Theory is knowledge that doesn’t work in practice
My verdict? What looks easy in the vet’s practice and on the internet may require acrobatic skills at home. What might be child’s play with one cat – our tomcat Jasper lets us hold him, roll him up and open his eyes in all directions without any problems – might be a fight with another. If you’ve yet to face the ordeal of creams, drops and tablets, I’ve just one thing to say: «Be safe out there».
How good are you at administering medication to your cat? Let me know in the comments.
Darina Schweizer
Senior Editor
Darina.Schweizer@digitecgalaxus.chI like anything that has four legs or roots. The books I enjoy let me peer into the abyss of the human psyche. Unlike those wretched mountains that are forever blocking the view – especially of the sea. Lighthouses are a great place for getting some fresh air too, you know?
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