
Zombie apocalypse: Professor Smith? provides information

If a deadly zombie virus breaks out and resources become scarce, the chances of survival increase with adequate preparation... or so we thought! Galaxus interviewed Robert Smith? to shed some light on this gloomy subject.
About the person: Robert Smith? (yes, the question mark is part of his name) is a biomathematics professor at the University of Ottawa and mathematically studies the spread of infectious diseases such as HIV, malaria... and zombies.
Galaxus: Why don't you introduce yourself briefly.
Smith: My name is Robert Smith. The question mark is part of my name. I'm a professor of biomathematics at the University of Ottawa and I do mathematical research on infectious diseases like HIV, malaria, human papillomaviruses... and zombies.
G: In a nutshell, what is your study about?
S: We chose zombies as the object of our study because they are a good way of illustrating how a new disease can be investigated mathematically. There was no mathematical model for zombie invasions yet, so this was an opportunity for us to investigate the "biology", create a mathematical model, analyse it and draw conclusions from it. We created several models to analyse different scenarios, including quarantine, treatment and what we call impulsive attacks.
G: Where does this fascination with zombies come from? Is that why you're investigating this and not another epidemic?
S: I am constantly investigating other epidemics. However, these are hardly able to reach the public to the same extent as pop culture does. Although zombies are not an actual disease, they have all the characteristics and we can apply our models to this hypothetical possibility. This shows beautifully what maths does best: Namely, predicting the future.
Zombies are so popular because they combine two primal human fears. One is the fear of being eaten by an enemy. We are programmed to fear this. Secondly, it is the fear of being attacked by a disease - something very arbitrary. There is also the scary component that the monsters look like people close to you. They have to decide whether they are capable of killing their own grandmother. That is truly terrifying.
G: How likely is a zombie apocalypse?
S: Rather unlikely, but theoretically a small outbreak would be enough to trigger an apocalypse. We were able to prove that the zombie virus would be extremely contagious even in slow-moving zombies (think The Walking Dead). This is basically a mirror of many diseases that are also slow (e.g. HIV) but still spread around the world.
G: What powers do zombies have and what makes them so dangerous?
S: Zombies are extremely dangerous because they don't need to recover. Humans need food, sleep, protection, medicine, etc. Zombies, on the other hand, constantly attack you in large numbers. A human may be able to defeat one zombie in battle, but not ten. Let alone a hundred or a thousand.
G: Switzerland has around 8 million inhabitants - how long would it take for the entire population to be infected with the zombie virus?
S: Roughly speaking, each zombie can turn 1.15 people (including themselves) per hour. This explains why we are fighting them so desperately. With a population of 8 million, Switzerland would be infected across the board in around five days. Of course, some would survive, but the vast majority would not.
G: How should we prepare for a zombie apocalypse?
S: Neither guns nor weapons offer the best protection. However, we all have a brain. That's something very powerful that zombies don't have. In the event of an apocalypse, we would run out of food or ammunition very quickly. But modern humans are not particularly good at self-sufficiency. Can you mine ore, refine steel, grow grain, generate heat or decipher the inner workings of an internal combustion engine? I can't do any of that.
In an independent society, we don't need to be able to do that either. I do my work, someone else does theirs and together we can create something very powerful: A civilisation. So we can dig trenches, electrify fences, fly drones, etc. The best defence in the event of a zombie apocalypse.
G: Assuming a zombie apocalypse were to break out, what would be the best strategy for survival? Attack or stealth?
S: In that case, you would probably be doomed anyway. People like to see themselves in the role of survivor. All you have to do is go to a bar, a high school or a football stadium. Every single person there will tell them that they would be a survivor. But they won't. That includes you. I'm sorry, but that's just the truth.
G: Is there a serious chance of winning a human-zombie war?
S: Not in the short term. A few would survive purely by chance. But we can't win; we can only survive. In the long term, we would have to hope for a genetic mutation that makes us immune to the zombie virus. That's not so far-fetched and is what happened with the black plague, for example.
G: What would you personally do to survive or stay alive as long as possible?
S: There is a place for me in the spaceship. Unfortunately, it's only one. It was fun. Take care and thanks for the fish.

