Three stages, two racers, one stalemate
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Three stages, two racers, one stalemate

Simon Balissat
Zurich, on 26.04.2019
Translation: Patrik Stainbrook
What’s better at getting you through Zurich, rollerblades or a car? It seemed like a no-brainer, even before we even did the challenge. No one would have thought it could have ended in a draw.

We’d chosen a full day of shooting to cross Zurich in three stages, starting at Galaxus HQ. I was in a car. Michael on rollerblades. We needed a shooting permit, five GoPros and a whole lot of preparation to fulfil our plan without a hitch. It would be a real challenge. No scripted scenes. May the better man win.

I’d recently asked you: who do you think will win? The result wasn’t surprising. Michael was leading by a mile.

In the end, Michael and I arrived at Sechseläutenplatz at the exact same time. Both of us had won a stage a piece. «What a scam,» I hear you say, my sceptical friends. It wasn’t. I swear.

Two knuckleheads take to the street

«I’ll lose no matter what, we’ll just have to edit the video in an exciting way,» I say before rolling. I’ve been living in Zurich for a year now, but this town is still a black hole when it comes to driving. I’ve got lost regularly, even on foot. I still don’t really know how to get to my favourite bar. Usually, I just walk through Kreis 3 until I find it. How am I supposed to find a route with single lanes, detours and traffic lights blocking my way? Even with a GPS, I still ran into a bunch of dead ends, construction sites and road blocks.

And I wasn’t even thinking about my opponent.

Yep. That’s how Michael was travelling.
Yep. That’s how Michael was travelling.

The last unicorn

«Send that skating guy to me for some lessons. There’s still a lot of room for improvement – and that braking manoeuvre at the end was pretty tragic :-/,» User mbommeli comments. Let’s call Michael an «ambitious amateur» when it comes to skates, which isn’t hard to see in the video. This worked out well for me. Even I, a newcomer to cars in Zurich, managed to keep up. I don’t want to destroy his fantasy, but it clearly was the traffic lights’ fault. Sorry Michael. Your helmet GoPro (lovingly called the «Unicorn») wasn’t the only thing at eye-level. My meagre driving skills still held up. We surprised everyone, had a whole lot of fun and laughed the whole time. Win. Win. Win.

Missed these two jackasses playing their little game? No problem:

Thanks to Migros for letting us enter their store, even if it was a stupid idea.

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Simon Balissat
Simon Balissat
Editor, Zurich
When I flew the family nest over 15 years ago, I suddenly had to cook for myself. But it wasn’t long until this necessity became a virtue. Today, rattling those pots and pans is a fundamental part of my life. I’m a true foodie and devour everything from junk food to star-awarded cuisine. Literally. I eat way too fast.

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