Three stages, two racers, one stalemate

Simon Balissat , Zurich ·
on 26.04.2019
Translation: Patrik Stainbrook

What’s better at getting you through Zurich, rollerblades or a car? It seemed like a no-brainer, even before we even did the challenge. No one would have thought it could have ended in a draw.

We’d chosen a full day of shooting to cross Zurich in three stages, starting at Galaxus HQ. I was in a car. Michael on rollerblades. We needed a shooting permit, five GoPros and a whole lot of preparation to fulfil our plan without a hitch. It would be a real challenge. No scripted scenes. May the better man win.

I’d recently asked you: who do you think will win? The result wasn’t surprising. Michael was leading by a mile.

In the end, Michael and I arrived at Sechseläutenplatz at the exact same time. Both of us had won a stage a piece. «What a scam,» I hear you say, my sceptical friends. It wasn’t. I swear.

Two knuckleheads take to the street

«I’ll lose no matter what, we’ll just have to edit the video in an exciting way,» I say before rolling. I’ve been living in Zurich for a year now, but this town is still a black hole when it comes to driving. I’ve got lost regularly, even on foot. I still don’t really know how to get to my favourite bar. Usually, I just walk through Kreis 3 until I find it. How am I supposed to find a route with single lanes, detours and traffic lights blocking my way? Even with a GPS, I still ran into a bunch of dead ends, construction sites and road blocks.

And I wasn’t even thinking about my opponent.

Yep. That’s how Michael was travelling.

The last unicorn

«Send that skating guy to me for some lessons. There’s still a lot of room for improvement – and that braking manoeuvre at the end was pretty tragic :-/,» User mbommeli comments. Let’s call Michael an «ambitious amateur» when it comes to skates, which isn’t hard to see in the video. This worked out well for me. Even I, a newcomer to cars in Zurich, managed to keep up. I don’t want to destroy his fantasy, but it clearly was the traffic lights’ fault. Sorry Michael. Your helmet GoPro (lovingly called the «Unicorn») wasn’t the only thing at eye-level. My meagre driving skills still held up. We surprised everyone, had a whole lot of fun and laughed the whole time. Win. Win. Win.

Missed these two jackasses playing their little game? No problem: