The life of Rywan
18.9.2020
Translation: machine translated
There are 2,857,143 steps ahead of me that I won't be taking. The story of a sock, a hole and a gun.
2000 kilometres or 2,857,143 steps. That's roughly equivalent to the Way of St James if I set off on a pilgrimage from Zurich. Once from the Grossmünster to Santiago de Compostela, I would almost have reached my destination. I would know whether this sock delivers what it promises.
The life of the Rywan is said to be extraordinary. Long and smooth. Tradition has it that the Cordura fibre used in the sole gives this sock unprecedented durability. So exceptional that they are called "No Limit". And that the manufacturer is going out on a limb with a blanket 2000-kilometre guarantee. Not a hole is supposed to be visible on the heel or toe until Rywan is 2000 years old. Wait, no: two years old or 2000 kilometres of foot abuse. Can that be true, Rywan? Aren't we too different for that?
Who are you, Rywan?
Rywan is a nobody to me. One of many. The sock and sole specialist from France hasn't played a role in my life so far. Neither with 4D-soles nor with anti-mosquito socks or double-layered Bi-Climasocks.
The inscription on the packaging of the "No Limit" wants to convert me with the first commandment of Marketing, which is: "Thou shalt kill the customer with buzzwords and graphics."
But my gaze only lingers on one print: The 2000-kilometre guarantee. Dear French people who designed these socks, dear Italians who made them: Huh? I have questions.
Are you serious about this?
How is this supposed to work? Do I have to track every hike and keep an Excel list? Write down the mileage and declare it when reselling*? Do I have to wear shoes or am I allowed to stone it on gravel paths in between?
Rywan has got into my head. As I try unsuccessfully to hike a hole in the socks, I can only conclude that they are comfortable. Reinforced in neuralgic areas, otherwise very airy. They go perfectly with my very airy hiking boots.
Is this a sign?
I rub myself up, Rywan shows no signs of fatigue. Not a single chafe. Nothing. I would love to keep going, keep going. Become one with the socks and talk about it. What I couldn't learn along the way.
Perhaps that the word "sock" comes from the Latin "soccus" and refers to a slip-on shoe worn by comedy actors as home wear. Perhaps that the smallest church parish in Sweden and Finland is called Socks. Comedy, actors, church - can that be a coincidence? Or is it a sign, Rywan?
Rywan is sending me a very clear sign: I don't have the time to earn the hole in my sock honestly. On the test bench with the "No Limit". I want to find out what wonders this footwear is really capable of. As in any good story, a massage gun promises to save the day.
These things turn maltreated souls into happy people. They beat their owners with up to 3400 strokes per minute and work true miracles. At least they get a conspicuous number of top ratings for their brute force. Because they are so popular, they now come in large, medium and small. Small is good, because I want to build a sock testing machine with them.
I use the lightning calculator to find out that 2000 kilometres correspond to 2,857,143 steps. If I put the little backgym massage gun on the highest setting in my sock and thus in my shoe, I could simulate the 2000-kilometre run in a good 14 hours, as the Ministry of Silly Walks confirmed to me on request. Run, shoe, run! Without me. But with the appropriate soundtrack.
Why does the "No Limit" have a limit?
While the shoe rattles off under my table, I confirm that I'm not a robot because I want to ask Rywan's customer service how the warranty is handled. Do I have to prove what happened to my socks? I also wonder why the sock is called "No Limit" if the warranty is limited to 2000 kilometres or two years. But I won't ask Rywan that, that would be petty.
Exactly one hour, nine minutes and forty seconds later, I'm no wiser. It's quiet, the backgym battery is empty. And the sock has run hot. After just 236,844 simulated steps, I find two holes in it.
Either a backgym strike puts at least twelve times more strain on the material than a normal step, which I think is entirely possible. Or it's just normal mortal socks after all. It remains a question of faith. But the answer doesn't matter in the end, because a little later I have a nice message from Rywan in my mailbox.
Regarding the 2000 km / 2 years warranty, you have nothing to prove, we will trust you if a hole occurs in the heel or the toe.
Now I'm a convinced Rywan disciple. Trust is the answer! Trust and proof of purchase. Who still expects that in 2020? People of Galaxus, fill your shopping carts with these Rywan socks. You won't be disappointed. I think so. My "No Limit" died far too early due to a chain of unfortunate circumstances. But that's no reason for me to mope.
at «author»
Michael Restin
Senior Editor
Michael.Restin@digitecgalaxus.chSimple writer and dad of two who likes to be on the move, wading through everyday family life. Juggling several balls, I'll occasionally drop one. It could be a ball, or a remark. Or both.
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