Guide
The hydration hype unveiled
by Michael Restin
Street Parade survival guide
7.8.2018
Translation: Jessica Johnson-Ferguson
This weekend will turn Zurich into a colourful mess! On Saturday, 11 August, the 27th Street Parade is going down. This years motto? «Culture of tolerance». If the weather is good – and it looks like it will be – up to one million party pilgrims are expected to swamp Zurich’s lakeside. How to survive the debauchery? We’ve put together a survival guide for you!
Refrain from swimming
You’d be forgiven for thinking a dip in the lake is a refreshing experience. Think again. Instead of splashing around in crisp alpine water, you will be sitting in a tepid brew consisting of urine, vomit and excreted drugs. Don’t do it!
Stay hydrated
Although temperatures are expected to be drop a little by Saturday, the weather forecast predicts a cloudless sky. In other words, the sun will be beating down on your coconut all day long. So make sure to drink lots of water. Particularly if you plan on drinking alcohol or taking other substances, your body may slam on the emergency brakes faster than you can say thirsty.
Stay away from sandals
Yep, I know. When it comes to footwear, Birkenstock shoes are the comfiest ever. But for today, just leave them in the wardrobe and slip into some lace-ups instead. A large crowd produces large amounts of rubbish. It’s always been the case and, sadly, probably always will be. However, rubbish doesn’t always consist of soft leftovers like half-eaten cheeseburgers but also of sharp objects like broken glass. Definitely nothing you want to tread on at an event like this. Maybe you were planning on squeezing into a full-body latex catsuit anyway. In that case, you needn’t worry about shards or the like.
Leave that smartphone at home
Leave your mobile at home during Street Parade. You won’t need it. Lost friends will be impossible to find in the masses anyway. What’s more, large events tend to attract pickpockets. But if you’ve nothing to steal, you’ve nothing to worry about. If you feel uncomfortable without a phone or want to be able to contact someone in an emergency, I recommend using a cheap phone. At least you won’t lose several hundred francs if it's stolen.
Say nope to dope
At Street Parade, it’s temptingly easy to get your hands on all kinds of substances. But please say no. It’s really not the place to try new things and have a bad trip. Drugs bought from strangers off the street are potentially adulterated with all kinds of unpurified rubbish. If you want to know what you’re about to pop, take your stash down to Bürkliplatz. Saferparty will test your drugs for you – free and anonymously.
Plan your escape
Before you join the crowds, come up with an escape route. You might be overcome by the urge to get out as quickly as possible. Away from the crowds, the noise and the heat. Your safe place might be a hotel room at Baur au Lac (provided you have a bit of spare cash), a boat close to Bürkliplatz (not a cheap option either) or you could memorise the sewage system and get away Ninja Turtles style. Whatever you do, don’t jump into the water. You know why.
Respect all people
You heard right. Just because you’re in Zurich, doesn’t give you a free pass to be arrogant. The whole Street Parade philosophy is the exact opposite. It’s a demonstration for more love, peace, freedom and tolerance. We all just want to enjoy the day and have fun. So be nice to each other.
Cover image: abstrkt.ch
Header image: PHOTO: abstrkt.ch
Riding my motorbike makes me feel free, fishing brings out my inner hunter, using my camera gets me creative. I make my money messing around with toys all day.
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