Your opinion
What’s your take on respect and manners?
On the death of decency
31.3.2026
Translation: Katherine Martin
When I take public transport, I’m confronted with videos blaring at full volume, feet on seats, foul language and people not bothering to cover their mouths when they cough. Whatever happened to manners?
It’s 7:30 a.m. on the regional train from Zurich to Basel. At Lenzburg, a well put-together woman gets on, sits down on the seat across from me and coughs right in my face. I’m too drowsy to give her a hard time, so I switch seats.
During the pandemic, I’d entertained the hope that once lockdown was over, we’d go on trying to protect each other from the spread of illness. But I ditched that hope just as quickly as people ditched masks. Instead, they’ve gone back to how things were before, dragging themselves to work, sniffling and spluttering, infecting both their colleagues and everyone they encounter on their commute. What happened between then and now?
The latest thing, however, is that people have completely given up on putting their hands over their mouths when they cough. Whether it’s due to sheer laziness or the belief that any level of human decency is woke nonsense, it seems we’ve learned only one thing from the pandemic: there’s no need to be considerate.
How to avoid looking like a daft lion
When I change trains in Aarau, there’s a woman near me, mouth gaping open as she yawns. Both hands are resting in her lap. She looks utterly ridiculous.
By the way, you too look silly when you yawn without covering your mouth. Yes, I’m aware that raising your hand to your face requires a feat of superhuman strength. But it’s worth it. Rather than resembling a lion with cognitive deficits, you’ll look like someone who knows how to behave properly.
Don’t believe me? Ask a friend to take a picture of you yawning with your hands by your sides. You’ll never do it again.
Source: Wolfs/Apple TV
«We’re on … public transport!»
On my way home, I’m joined by a whole host of uninhibited coughers and yawners. But they’re the least of my worries.
On the S11 train to Zurich, a young woman sits down next to me, takes out her phone and starts watching a video at full blast. I politely ask her to turn down the volume. She looks at me as if I’ve just let out a loud fart.
Then she says, «There’s plenty of seats over there.» In other words,I should either scram or keep my trap shut.
Once more, I ask her to turn down the volume and explain that it’s bothering me. She’s affronted now: «We’re on … public transport!»
Clearly, she means that in public spaces, everyone can do whatever they want.
My second and third seat changes
But that’s a misconception. You can do whatever you want in the comfort of your own home. In public, however, you’re supposed to behave in such a way that you don’t disturb anyone. And that’s not a matter of personal taste – it’s a fundamental rule of living together. At least it used to be.
When I briefly explain this to the young woman, she looks visibly annoyed. So I comply with her initial request and move to another seat. This time, I’m not too tired to leave without comment. She gets a glowing review of her stand-up personality.
In Lenzburg, two young men get on the train. They take out a massive McDonald’s picnic spread, keeping their eyes glued to their phones while they talk and stuff their faces with fries. Both have their shoes up on the seat cushions. Unenthused about the prospect of entering into another pointless exchange, I swap seats for the third time that day.
«Sis, you a ho!»
In Zurich, a few teenage girls get on the bus. Two of them are clutching their phones, videos blaring out of the speakers. To make themselves heard over the din, the girls communicate by shouting.
The thing is, I actually really enjoy travelling. I like the train, the journey, the distance and using the downtime to prepare my lessons. If only it didn’t come with all these louts who can’t distinguish between shamelessness and freedom. In summer, they blast music out of their boomboxes all along the lakeshore, littering the area with their rubbish. In winter, they cough in my face while mindless TikTok content blares out of their phones.
«Sis, you a ho!» shouts one of the girls.
«No, you a ho!» the other one retorts.
Given that my surroundings have become not only noisy, but also vulgar and grammatically intolerable, I’m inclined to change seats. But I’ve now arrived at my stop.
Remember when we used to nip out to make a phone call?
Alright, that story was a pretty bad advert for public transport. It also painted a grim picture of society in general. And as is typical of a painting, it only shows what the painter sees.
However, in my opinion, respect is breaking down right now – and I think that’s a real problem. At 52 years old, I’ve lived for decades under a social consensus that dictated what was and wasn’t acceptable.
When I was young, it never occurred to anyone to put their feet up on seats, leave rubbish lying around or cough in people’s faces. You know what? It hasn’t even been 20 years since we used to step off the tram to take a call. Or when «Confiserie Sprüngli» had place cards on the tables asking customers to refrain from using their phones «out of consideration for other guests». Sure, back in the day, the problem was the noise going in to phones rather than the noise coming out of them.
And yes, I’m old-fashioned. I miss the days before public transport served as an excuse for behave badly. The days when it acted as a call to do the opposite. It’s not like it was a long time ago.
«Respeeeect!»
My 14-year-old son is sitting next to me on the sofa as I write this. He’s playing a video game, stopping to glance at my MacBook every now and then. Eventually, he starts bemoaning his father’s ever-speedier transformation into a «boomer», mocking me with shouts of «respeeeect!» in a deep voice. As if my dad jokes and home cooking aren’t causing him enough of a headache, he now has to contend with my geriatric ramblings.
When I was his age, I thought my parents were terribly prim and proper too. Good manners were extremely important to them; they insisted on them at every single moment. The list of things considered appropriate or inappropriate, things one should or shouldn’t do, was never-ending.
Now, I say exactly the same stuff. I see social standards as essential. If we stop caring about how others feel in our presence, thinking only about having our immediate needs met, it’ll probably become more difficult for us to live together as a community.
Header image: «Wolfs» / Apple TV
Thomas Meyer
freier Autor
tacheles@thomasmeyer.chAuthor Thomas Meyer was born in Zurich in 1974. He worked as a copywriter before publishing his first novel «The Awakening of Motti Wolkenbruch» in 2012. He's a father of one, which gives him a great excuse to buy Lego. More about Thomas: www.thomasmeyer.ch.
Opinion
This is a subjective opinion of the editorial team. It doesn't necessarily reflect the position of the company.
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