Opinion

I don't give a shit about cleaning windows

25.6.2019

Translation: machine translated

Window cleaning is for the hobby-less. Or do you know a good reason for it?

Please don't read that now, Mum. You'd just be disappointed and blame yourself for it. Thinking you brought me up wrong. But the truth is that there's no good reason for cleaning windows. Unless maybe a bird poops on the window head-on. Then even I would probably get the cleaning agent out of the cupboard.

Why go to all the trouble?

I agree with keeping the flat clean. But everything that happens outside my four walls: not my business! If I'm still looking out of the window, it's not dirty. And if you're one of those curtain fetishists who have to put a piece of translucent fabric between you and the neighbours at all costs, then there's no reason to ever caress the window with a cloth. You never get to see the glass anyway. Depending on which floor you've built your nest on, cleaning the windows can quickly turn into an act of overcoming. Provided you suffer from a fear of heights. After all, you are literally leaning far out of the window. It's a tightrope walk where you always have to keep the balance between your compulsion to be clean and certain death. But just out of curiosity, a little thought experiment: what would happen if I cleaned my windows after all?

I'll tell you. Less than five minutes pass before the spider whose web I've removed stretches another one in the exact same corner of the window. Only bigger this time, so that even more flies and other bugs can get caught in it. And shortly afterwards it starts to rain. The water stains on the window pane remain as a souvenir. Not to mention the numerous insects that invade the windowsill and mark it with their droppings. And then there are the birds. They fly head first into the oh-so-clean window pane and if they don't, they too shit on the windowsill. And that, my dear friends, is the reason why I shit on window cleaning.

Do you clean your windows?

I'd rather buy curtains.
32%
Only if I really don't have anything better to do.
43%
What must, that must. I take my household duties seriously.
25%

The competition has ended.

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14 people like this article

Natalie Hemengül

Senior Editor

Natalie.Hemenguel@digitecgalaxus.ch

As a massive Disney fan, I see the world through rose-tinted glasses. I worship series from the 90s and consider mermaids a religion. When I’m not dancing in glitter rain, I’m either hanging out at pyjama parties or sitting at my make-up table. P.S. I love you, bacon, garlic and onions.

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I don't give a shit about cleaning windows

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