Gifts don't have the same value as they used to
The wish lists are getting longer and longer, but children today don't seem to be any happier about Christmas presents than their parents once were. Our consumer world is complex and omnipresent, even for children, says Urs Kiener, child and youth psychologist at Pro Juventute. He explains how best to introduce children to this world and why children can sometimes be lucky.
In the eighteenth century, children praised their parents in Christmas wish lists and pledged obedience - well, probably not entirely voluntarily. On today's five-year-olds' sheets, on the other hand, it says: Lego police station, play kitchen, "Megazord Dino Super Charge", garden kit, bicycle, etc.
Mr Kiener, are children today slaves to the toy industry?
Urs Kiener: (reflecting) In contrast not only to the eighteenth century, but also to the generation of today's parents and grandparents, consumption is available around the clock today and is a leisure activity for many children. Without money, a child, even at pre-school age, is quickly excluded from social life. What's more, the consumer world is much more complex today. I grew up in the Bernese Oberland. Back then, there were three types of chocolate in the village shop - I recently found 136 in a large Zurich supermarket. Introducing children to this complexity is much more time-consuming and demanding for parents than it was a few decades ago.
How do children learn to deal with money and find their way in the consumer world?Much of this comes from the children's own questions. For example, if your son asks why you go to work, you can explain to him that you get money for your journalistic articles, which you then use to pay the rent and buy food. However, the fact that the flow of money is mostly invisible nowadays makes it a little more difficult to understand. Children observe how we hand a piece of plastic to the shop assistant at the checkout and then everything in the shopping trolley belongs to us. Or they see us put the same card into a slot on a wall and notes come out. Would it be better if we kept young children away from consumption as much as possible?On the contrary. It is important to give children the opportunity to take responsibility as early as possible. For a three-year-old, for example, this means learning to wait. Let's take the classic example - sweets at the supermarket checkout. If, contrary to their intentions, parents buy their child a chocolate bar just so that he stops rolling around on the floor, they are depriving him of an opportunity to learn how to deal with the abundance of consumption options. Today, it is not only children who lack the ability to defer needs, but also many adults. In Switzerland, four out of ten 18-year-olds have debts. Of course, these are often small amounts, but the fact that someone is in debt at a time when costly life decisions such as moving out of home or starting a family are still to be made worries me.[[image:10240097]]Can children today still enjoy things that once delighted their parents - a new colouring pencil palette or the long-awaited ski jacket?Gifts in general no longer have the same value as they used to. What is not available is usually bought straight away. Clothes in particular - once a central part of Christmas and birthday presents - are no longer seen as gifts, but as necessary purchases. You can't imagine how many frustrated families consult Pro Juventute's counselling services after Christmas. The daughter is then upset and says that she didn't get anything for Christmas. The father, on the other hand, says he spent his entire 13th month's salary on presents.Despite the abundance - many parents want to teach their children that you have to wait for a present. However, this is not easy when the offspring are also regularly given presents by grandparents and friends. On the other hand, it is understandable that they want to make their grandchildren and godchildren happy during the year, especially if they only see them irregularly.As a child, I always say that sometimes you can just be lucky. Grandparents in particular like to spoil their grandchildren and should be allowed to do so. There can be endless discussions about spoiling. However, I believe it only does harm if it makes children dependent and dependent. In other words, when an adult takes on tasks for children that they could tackle themselves or solves problems that they could cope with. Especially when it comes to gifts of money, however, it is important that parents are informed about what their children are receiving. If grandma gives 100 francs, this is a good opportunity to discuss with your son that, unlike pocket money, this should not simply be spent, but could be saved for the smartphone he has been longing for. In conclusion: How do we teach our children that consumption and material values are not everything?The best thing parents can do is simply let children play freely. Today, girls and boys spend an average of just half an hour a day outside, and they are rarely unsupervised. A few decades ago it was two or three hours. And if children were allowed to decide for themselves, it would be much more. No "Megazord Dino Super Charge" comes close to free play.
A passionate journalist and mother of two sons who moved from Zurich to Lisbon with her husband in 2014. Does her writing in cafés and appreciates that life has been treating her well in general. <br><a href="http://uemityoker.wordpress.com/" target="_blank">uemityoker.wordpress.com</a>