Get rich or die trying - the most exclusive digitec products!
15.8.2016
Translation: machine translated
Don't know what to do with your money? You always need the latest and most expensive gadget, no matter how much it costs you? Is money your middle name? Then I'm delighted to be able to recommend the most extravagant digitec products to you.
Can you hear me?
Whatever the "Hi" in "HiFi" symbolises, I don't give a f***. For the first money-is-no-object product, I think it stands for outlandishly expensive. If you belong to the old guard with a lot of class, then you should also play your records with a lot of style - and this prestige object literally screams expression, style and elegance. From the polished wood to the carefully crafted individual parts and all the technical features, this hi-fi turntable radiates every single franc it costs. This fact saves you having to leave the price tag on the item after purchase. Everyone can see what you paid: a lot of money! [[productlist:5314864]]
Ink or the liquid gold
The product name alone makes the dollar signs roll up and down in all sorts of cartoon character eyes: "Exception Precious". I think this name alone makes the shiny golden fountain pen at least 1,000 francs more valuable. Logically, you can't offer a pen in the small car price segment and just call it a "gold pen". What can it do, you ask? The younger generation in particular will be amazed: it writes by hand and looks amazing. Numerous teenagers postulate the latter anew every party night, while handwriting represents a profession that is hardly practised by those same youngsters any more. Much to my horror, as a long time ago I even had to learn to write with my left hand!
Money-making millionaire
Are you fed up with having to go to the bank or ATM to collect your inherited money just because certain dodgy establishments don't accept credit cards? Then get this device and print out your money yourself! If the current currency has become too dull and boring for you, you can also create your own securities and put them into circulation. As there are almost no limits to the printing power of this monster, your do-it-yourself mice will soon replace the most common means of payment. And in the event of an emergency or inflation, you simply start all over again - after all, you have to have something to do.
A wall of pure TV
Doesn't every room in your luxurious home have a huge flat rate TV? With this monstrosity and a screen diagonal of almost two metres, you'll outshine all your neighbours who are blessed with immeasurable wealth. The intended use is up to you: Whether you set it up in the garden to watch football matches and thus deprive the neighbours of daylight or whether you set it up in your oversized living room and thus generate more light at night than the moon itself - which gives the dark side of the moon a completely new meaning - it's up to you! After all, it's your money too.
Fly, baby, fly
You already have your own helicopter, no doubt about it. But it's currently parked on your 35-metre yacht in the chic port of Monaco, where the who's who of C-list celebrities gather for a proper posing session - because they don't know what they're doing. Or as Otto said in the film "Otto's Eleven": "I find myself here in the middle of the world of the rich and beautiful. In other words, this seems to be more the realm of the rich." Enough jokes, back to the actual object of desire: With this colossal high-flyer, you'll always keep your wits about you, appear quite aloof and clearly lose the ground beneath your feet. But hey, who cares? You can afford it. And unlike a helicopter, you can transport the drone almost effortlessly.
Look at me, look at me
"Companies need more flexible and effective working groups. The desire to quickly meet with colleagues in different locations, share ideas and collaborate on important projects has driven the demand for visual collaboration." Aha, thank you for these valuable lines. WTF. This is roughly how this monitor monstrosity is advertised for audiovisual collaboration in companies. However, its actual purpose only becomes apparent on closer inspection: With this device, you can tell and show all your enviers what you think of them at the same time. With the two webcams and screens, your abysmal hatred and deep contempt come across as detailed and lifelike as never before.
Your own power station
A computer beyond good and evil. Take the most expensive and extravagant components, double and triple their number, pack the whole thing into an absurd case and offer the end result for sale at an incredible 14,000 - in words "fourteen thousand" - francs. This is what happened with the Craft 1, the flagship model from the Swiss PC hobbyists at Joule Performance. To go one better and - unlike the Cookie Dough'wich from Ben & Jerry's - not to push one under, we are also exhibiting this gaming powerhouse live in our showroom. Okay, it's not so much an energy supplier as an insatiable power guzzler. But due to its almost inhuman dimensions, the first term simply fits better.
What next?
If you don't have the necessary change for one (or more) of the items mentioned above, you should theoretically leave our site as quickly as possible and start saving. However, if you can't go that long without some new technical achievement, we offer you a rather cosy and relatively anonymous retreat to indulge your shopping addiction without a break. Don't worry, even if we could track your every move, we would hardly pass this information on to uninvolved third parties. Don't trust Big Brother? Then head to one of our showrooms and buy your e-waste offline the old-school way. #peaceout
Raphael Knecht
Senior Editor
raphael.knecht@digitecgalaxus.chWhen I'm not stuffing my face with sweets, you'll catch me running around in the gym hall. I’m a passionate floorball player and coach. On rainy days, I tinker with my homebuilt PCs, robots or other gadgets. Music is always my trusted companion. I also enjoy tackling hilly terrain on my road bike and criss-crossing the country on my cross-country skis.
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