Don't give me a penguin and I'll be happy
15.12.2025
Translation: machine translated
Once I showed sympathy for penguins. I quickly became a strange bird myself by giving gifts. But I didn't want to end up as an unwilling collector.
Luckily, my penguin phase, which was never meant to be, was a few years ago. It must be almost exactly twenty, because in 2005 the film «The Penguins' Journey» was released in cinemas. I liked it. That was all there was to it. The animals are just funny.
At some point during this time, I laughed perhaps once too loudly at a confused tuxedo bird and took a few blurry photos of the animals in the wild. I was already on my way to becoming the crazy penguin man, who can certainly be given anything that looks like a penguin without hesitation.
Source: Michael Restin
I accepted the first wall calendar with a relaxed attitude. After twelve months, it would be history one way or another and probably hadn't been turned over since March. The next gift was probably a book, I don't even remember.
In any case, it was one penguin too many.
The moment when I had to say: thank you, over. I like penguins in the wild, but please not on my wall or on my desk. Otherwise I'd probably have a penguin mouse in my hand by now and be filling my penguin mug from a penguin bottle.
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Every child knows this on a small scale. If you like drawing, you'll be inundated with pencils, pads and colouring books until the desk underneath has disappeared. Anyone who says their favourite colour is blue will at some point no longer be able to find their blue T-shirts on the blue duvet cover. Anyone who loves unicorns will soon have the whole room full of them.
Unlike adults, children are allowed to reinvent themselves every three months. No one takes it amiss if the stuff flies out and is replaced by a new favourite. It's a different story if you fall into the monothematic gift trap later in life. Or in my case: waddling.
Say stop before it's too late
As always, everything is more complicated between adults. Most of them already know what they really want. The coffee lover the seventh best tamper in their collection or the cat lover the twenty-sixth tamper.a href="/s15/producttype/katzenspielzeug-2078">animal toy is pointless and unpleasant for at least one party.
This makes the category «crazy gifts» around a suspected interest the straw that many who are looking for something personalised are only too happy to grasp at. It may be enough to stand in front of an enclosure at the zoo smiling dreamily for too long. Your companion will be clicking through hundreds of parrot or parrot products.
The motifs of the gift-givers are classy. They skip the chocolates, wine and flowers and really put some thought into it. Often more than the recipients themselves. Appreciating the gesture and at the same time preventing the nice idea from becoming a trend is not that easy. Showing too much joy could attract imitators. Too much irritation would simply be ungrateful.
Collecting as an act of charity
I suspect that some people sitting in flats full of animal memorabilia are not doing it entirely voluntarily. They have simply never said stop and are given decades of presents true to their fondness, which has become a self-proclaimed favourite. The question of the right gift no longer arises, which is practical for everyone involved. Gifts become a collection, the collection becomes a quirk associated with the person: that's the one with the penguins. But collecting is only nice if it really becomes a hobby.
I would have found it harder with every year and every gift to come out and throw things out of my flat sooner rather than later. Guys, listen up: thank you for everything, but penguins are not my thing. My life as a collector would have been one big misunderstanding.
I could have chosen to keep the things and see them for what they are: Little pieces of evidence that others had thought of me. It's actually a much more sympathetic attitude, but I can't muster that much selflessness.
The journey of the penguins ends here
I have a lot of things that gift seekers don't like. Not a tie collector. Zero fancy hobbies. I'm not even good at choosing things for myself. I just know what I don't want. That's why I killed my penguin collecting career before it could start.
Of course, I still like the animals. They bring together everything that instinctively appeals to humans. The funny tailcoat, the clumsy way of moving around on land, the fluffy chicks. If penguins didn't exist, Pixar would have to invent them. And I can live with the few polar inhabitants that I still occasionally stumble across on cards or as key rings. There doesn't have to be any more. Sorry, dear friends, relatives and penguins.
Source: Michael Restin
Header image: Shutterstock/Korotkovvvv
Michael Restin
Senior Editor
Michael.Restin@digitecgalaxus.chSimple writer and dad of two who likes to be on the move, wading through everyday family life. Juggling several balls, I'll occasionally drop one. It could be a ball, or a remark. Or both.
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