Background information
The strange freedom of parenting older children
by Michael Restin
"Disorganisation is often systematic for children."
27.8.2018
Translation: machine translated
As "Mrs Tidy", Martina Frischknecht gives advice on clearing out and tidying up. I asked her how you can keep things reasonably tidy with children. A conversation about sprawling potty collections, half-finished drawings and the educational benefits of full laundry tins.
Mrs Frischknecht, as Mrs Tidy, you help others to tidy their homes and create structure. When I have children, tidying up becomes even more of a challenge. How do I teach my children to be tidy?I don't think there's just one right way. Every family is different. I have a nine-year-old son myself. When I find Legos everywhere in his room, I ask him to tidy up again. But I often hold back: the children's room is the only room that really belongs to him. Shouldn't he be allowed to do as he pleases there? Is it really so important that everything is always neatly tidied away? But if he plays in my bedroom, for example, then it's clear that he will leave the room as he found it. Is tidiness something that is learnt or is it also a predisposition?I can't answer that. However, as in other areas, it is certainly the case that parents set an example for their children. Children often adopt these patterns later in life.However, most parents would like their children to develop a sense of order at home and not just when they have moved out.Of course, children should take on responsibility at an earlier age. At home, for example, it's a matter of course that everyone clears away their plates after lunch, including my son. His tasks also include putting his clean clothes away in the wardrobe. It has also happened that the laundry has been left in the room for a week. As a mum or dad, you should never give in to the impulse to do the job yourself in such cases. At some point, the children will realise for themselves that there is more room to play if they put the laundry away straight away. However, they will also quickly realise whether they just need to wait a little while until their parents tidy up for them after all. Can I declutter the children's room without my daughter or son knowing about it?I'm careful about that. I can well remember treasures from my childhood that were of no value to adults. But of course I also sometimes let a few pine cones disappear or throw away broken toys or drawings I've started. When in doubt, I first put the things in a box and store them in the cellar for a while. If they are still not missing after months, you can safely pass them on. Above all, however, children should be supported in sorting things out themselves and letting them go. How do children learn to part with their toys?A good time to tackle this topic is before a birthday or Christmas, for example. My son's birthday is in November; sometime in October I always ask him which toys he wants to keep and which he wants to pass on - after all, he will soon need space for new things. Flea markets are also a good idea, where children can sell their things and earn some pocket money. Should I reward children for tidying up?I've already taken the opportunity to make one of my son's wishes conditional on him tidying his room first. But you shouldn't make rewards the rule. It should be a matter of course that everyone in the family contributes to making the home a cosy place. How can I make it easier for children to keep things tidy?Children need clear instructions, especially when they are young. They can't do much with "Tidy your room!". However, "All the cars go in the red box" does. It helps if toys have a fixed place or if Legos, soft toys or colouring materials are all stored in different containers. It's also a good idea to have a "treasure chest" for everything that doesn't fit anywhere else: Shells, stones, figurines from Kinder Surprise Eggs. And don't be too strict: What we adults see as clutter often has a system for children. Creativity also needs a little chaos.
Header image: Martina Frischknecht explains in an interview why the children's room does not always have to be tidy.
A passionate journalist and mother of two sons who moved from Zurich to Lisbon with her husband in 2014. Does her writing in cafés and appreciates that life has been treating her well in general. <br><a href="http://uemityoker.wordpress.com/" target="_blank">uemityoker.wordpress.com</a>
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