The bitter end of my indoor herbs
12.9.2023
Translation: Eva Francis
Pictures: Darina Schweizer
Growing herbs in your living room is easy, they said. Just make sure to use the right soil and water properly, they said. Well, they got it wrong, those internet sources. Here’s my indoor herb drama in eight acts.
Warning: herbs and insects were harmed in the making of this article. In fact, quite a few died. Besides, this article is a rollercoaster of emotions – from glimmers of hope to big disappointments. And it doesn’t end well. So be prepared.
Act 1: a semi-successful overture
It all begins in an idyllic place – on my sunny windowsill. It’s a warm early summer day in May. Overjoyed, I sow thyme, oregano and sage seeds. The pots are too small, the soil too coarse and I spill all the seeds, but hey, I’m excited to be here and positive it will all be fine.
Act 2: the build-up
Over the next few days, nothing happens. Is something wrong? I start feeling unsettled. Nothing’s happening on the surface of the soil. Zero. I try out a few watering and covering techniques. And I try to keep my hopes high. It’s not easy. But then, on day eight, fate turns and my sprouts stick their heads through the soil. First sage, then thyme, then oregano.
Act 3: the first conflict
Ah, the joy of growing your own herbs! My sprouts shoot up, grow their first leaflets and are thriving. As a happy herb mum, I’m giving it my all. Not too much water, as much light as possible – only the best for my Mediterranean herb babies. That’s when I run into the first problem: the sun dries out the soil in the tiny pots on my windowsill in no time at all. And the drama takes its course.
Act 4: the near-death experience
One day, when I check on my sage, thyme and oregano, they’re all lying flat on the ground. Several resuscitation attempts with water follow. They struggle, but rise again – only to collapse shortly afterwards. It’s a constant up and down. This has to stop.
Source: Darina Schweizer
Act 5: a brief sigh of relief
Time for a new setting. My sprouts go into a bigger pot, as recommended by my internet sources, and I move them out of the direct sun. From now on, I only need to water them every few days. The relief! I feel a quick moment of pride, suddenly interrupted by a faint buzzing sound.
Act 6: the next conflict
I take a closer look at my herb babies and spot a few tiny fungus gnats circling around them. My protective instinct is awakened. I do what a herb mother has to – I hunt them down. I set death traps of red wine, dish soap and water around the pots. Dozens of gnats drown. Each one adding to my satisfaction. But, unfortunately, dozens of new ones appear, too. Soon, they’re swarming around my pots. Am I mistaken or have my herbs suddenly stopped growing?
Source: Darina Schweizer
Act 7: the climax
I’m not mistaken. My herbs hardly form new leaves and have stopped growing. Why? Google delivers the bad news: fungus gnat larvae may have eaten the roots. Gently, I dig up my sprouts and throw away the soil. I wash their little roots clean. Then, I plant them in new soil, specifically made for indoor plants. The fungus gnats have disappeared – this gives me hope.
Act 8: the downfall
Unfortunately, with the gnats, my herbs also disappear. Their rich green leaves gradually fade and, like ancient people, they bow their heads and then their whole bodies toward the ground. It's the worst case scenario. Devastated, I say goodbye to my herb babies.
Act 8: the end
There’s only one single survivor. It’s my firstborn, the sage. After its struggle through the barren layers of earth, several collapses, resurrections and finally the hard-fought victory in the relentless war against the fungus gnats, it’s still standing. So there might be a happy ending to this story after all? Nope. Soon, the young leaves of my sage also begin to wilt...
Source: Darina Schweizer
The end.
The review
So what’s my verdict after this indoor herb drama? Here’s my list of would haves, could haves and should haves:
- I could have heated the soil in the oven at 200 degrees for 20 minutes or in the microwave at the highest setting for ten minutes before using it. This would have killed any fungus gnat larvea, which usually lay eggs in the soil before we buy it. Unfortunately, the heating process also kills other important microorganisms.
- I could have used larger pots from the very start.
- I could have used seeding and herb soil initially and switched to specific and preferably high-quality indoor plant soil when I repotted the herbs.
- I could have watered the herbs less after repotting them.
- I could have covered the soil with bird sand, quartz sand or fine-grained gravel. This prevents fungus gnats from laying eggs in the soil.
- Instead of setting up traps, I could have bought fungus gnat repellent right away. One with nematodes or predatory mites that eat the larvae, for instance. This way, the roots of the herbs might not have been eaten.
Pesticide
Quantity discount
CHF12.20 per piece for 2 units CHF0.81/1l
Andermatt Biogarten Solbac tabs
Fungus gnats
Coming soon
Now what? Has the curtain fallen? No, not quite. After a break, I’ll begin a new story. Starring: new soil, new seeds and maybe a smart garden?
Had more success with your indoor herbs? Let me know how you did it in the comments!
Darina Schweizer
Senior Editor
Darina.Schweizer@digitecgalaxus.chI love everything with four legs or roots – especially my rescue cats Jasper and Joy and my collection of succulents. I’m happiest following the scent of stories about police dogs and cat groomers – or cultivating thoughtful tales in garden flea markets and Japanese gardens.
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