Opinion
6 suggestions for your autumn reading
by Natalie Hemengül
Being honest isn’t a free pass to be rude
27.8.2025
Translation: Jessica Johnson-Ferguson
Pictures: Darina Schweizer
Is honesty the best policy? I think it is. But only if you’re not like a bull in a china shop.
Harmony at any cost
Let’s zoom in on friendliness first. Dictionaries say: «kind pleasant behaviour towards somebody you like or want to help». This is where the crux of the matter lies. The term «pleasant» is based on «to please». We want people to like us. Above all, we want harmony.
This type of person tends to be sensitive and empathetic. They change their perspective even before they open their mouths. «How might my statement affect the other person?» they ask themselves. If they sense someone might be offended, they wrap their sentences in a friendly protective cloak. As nice as that is, it’s not honest.
«Truth» without consideration
But what is honesty? It’s described as «sincerity» and «truthfulness» in dictionaries. In this case, the devil is in «truthfulness». What does truthful mean? Being in accordance to the truth. But what is true for irrefutable laws such as gravity can’t be universally valid for personal opinions.
Honestly friendly
Let’s take a look at a middle-of-the-road approach. Being honest AND considerate of the feelings of others? That’s definitely a combination that can work. How about:
- ...«I think the other dress looks better on you» instead of «You look fat in that dress»
- ...«What exactly didn’t you understand?» instead of «How do you not know that?»
- ...«I’d appreciate if we could do things differently next time» instead of «Your meeting was terrible.»
- «Not my cup of tea» instead of «Seriously, you like THAT?»
This works best with first-person messages and engaged, unbiased questions.
This requires one thing above all: confidence. If you know yourself well, you won’t need to base your self-worth on unreflective statements or on constant harmony. Instead, you’re capable of taking a step back at the right moment or sharing your thoughts in a constructive way. This won’t make you untrustworthy or unlikeable. And let’s be honest: it’s the only way people truly open up fully instead of keeping things superficial.
Darina Schweizer
Senior Editor
Darina.Schweizer@digitecgalaxus.chI love anything with four legs or roots - especially my shelter cats Jasper and Joy and my collection of succulents. My favourite things to do are stalking around with police dogs and cat coiffeurs on reportages or letting sensitive stories flourish in garden brockis and Japanese gardens.
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