Guide
Get your mum coasters instead of tat this year
by Michael Restin
"I decide who annoys me" - How to gain more inner sovereignty
18.3.2024
Translation: machine translated
Who wouldn't want to let misunderstandings, anger and resentment simply bounce off them? In her book of the same name, self-management coach Karin Kuschik provides "50 sentences that make life easier" and thus a compass for more inner confidence.
Each chapter in the book stands on its own, comprises one of the 50 sentences and is always structured in the same way: Kuschik describes little anecdotes from real life that could have infuriated the people concerned. Based on the calm reactions of these people, the author shows how you can remain calm and react confidently in such moments. Finally, she summarises in three key words what each sentence gives you.
"Then I'd rather take it easy"
Let's just not let little things spoil our happiness.
The word "simple" in these sentences is perhaps somewhat misplaced. At least as long as the equanimous reaction has not yet been practised. But the author has a good point: instead of putting all your energy into excitement, anger or fear, you can also invest it in practising calmness until equanimity comes naturally at some point.
What does this sentence give you? Relaxation, self-determination and a whole lot of lightness, writes the author.
"It's best to forgive myself right away"
What are the biggest interpersonal fears that people harbour? The fear of failing and the fear of not being loved. And we are often our own biggest critics and crush ourselves relentlessly after small mistakes, even though nothing can be changed afterwards.
For if we can accept a portion of tolerance for ourselves instead of our often merciless judgement and all the embarrassing feelings that this entails, we can move from being victims of circumstances to creators of possibilities.
"I'm not sure what that means"
In this chapter, Kuschik tells the story of a client: after an appointment with her boss, she thinks her presentation at an important conference has been cancelled for no reason. The boss hadn't mentioned her, she wasn't mentioned on the slides and he kept avoiding her gaze. That was enough for her to continue constructing the story in her head and start looking for a new job.
We tend to construct reality. If we don't ask questions in order to categorise our assumptions, this can quickly lead us in the wrong direction. That's why the author advises us to use simple sentences more often, which are rewarded with a lot of clarity: "I'm not sure what that means", "I'm not sure what you mean by that" or even "I'm not sure what that means for me specifically".
Curious now? Then have fun reading or listening to these three and the other 47 sentences for more inner confidence.
And if you also want to know the best way to say what you want, you can read on here:
Header image: Nicoleta Ionescu/Shutterstock
Anna Sandner
Senior Editor
Anna.Sandner@galaxus.deScience editor and biologist. I love animals and am fascinated by plants, their abilities and everything you can do with them. That's why my favourite place is always the outdoors - somewhere in nature, preferably in my wild garden.
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