Are you stressed out, sad or frustrated? Try this
13.5.2024
Translation: Katherine Martin
There’s a lot to gain from understanding and accepting your emotions. That’s what psychologist and podcaster Lukas Klaschinski promises in his new book on acceptance and commitment therapy «Fühl dich ganz» (Feel completely).
This text isn’t intended for people with depression or other serious diagnosed mental illnesses. It only describes a potential way for people to cope better with negative thoughts and feelings that occur as a result of everyday stress. The approach may not be suitable for tackling persistent psychological distress, chronic stress or negative thoughts and feelings. If that’s what you’re experiencing, you should always seek professional help.
It’s a given that nobody wants to feel negative emotions. As a result, it’s only natural that people prefer to ignore them. The aggravating thing about this? It doesn’t make pesky thoughts or bad moods disappear. In the worst case scenario, they can even get worse.
Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) was developed to help people cope with painful thoughts and emotions. A method of behavioural therapy, ACT involves focusing on things you can change (namely your own behaviour) instead of trying to control or stop your thoughts. After all, the latter doesn’t usually work.
How ACT helps with stress
Many people are exposed to constant pressure and high expectations, often resulting in chronic stress and burnout. According to a 2021 Forsa survey (in German), almost 1 in 4 people often suffered from stress, with a further 38 per cent saying they sometimes struggled with it. Long-term stress can manifest itself in the form of exhaustion, sleep disorders, irritability, difficulty concentrating and negative emotions. ACT is designed to help you cope better with stress.
Step 1: Acceptance Accept that stress is a part of life and that it’s okay to feel overwhelmed sometimes. Don’t try to suppress or ignore these feelings. Instead, let them in – even if they’re difficult to bear at first.
Step 2: Cognitive defusion We tend to identify with our thoughts or see them as true and real. This is where cognitive defusion comes in. It’s supposed to help disentangle you from your negative thoughts. Take a step back and see your thoughts for what they are – just thoughts, not facts. Remember too, your thoughts don’t define you as a person.
Step 3: Be present in the here and now Instead of constantly thinking about the past or future, try to focus on the here and now. This way, you’ll regain a sense of control and feel calmer and less stressed.
Step 4: Use the self as context See yourself as an observer of your experiences rather than identifying with your stress-related thoughts and feelings. This will allow you to take a step back and better understand your reactions to stress or frustration.
Step 5: Get clear about your values Try to find out what’s really important to you. What are your true values? What do you want to achieve in your life? If you know this, it’ll be easier to set priorities and make decisions that lead to less stress.
6. 6: Put your realisations into practice. Once you’re aware of what’s really important to you, you can think of specific steps towards living out these values. An example of this could be scheduling more time for rest and relaxation or learning techniques to cope with stress.
The goal of ACT isn’t to completely eliminate stress – oftentimes, that’s impossible anyway. Instead, it’s about coping better with stress and consciously aligning your decisions with your true values.
«Feel completely»: understanding emotions and letting them in
If you’re interested in this topic and want to find out more, I’d recommend this book (in German):
«Fühl dich ganz» (Feel completely) by Lukas Klaschinski is an entertaining guide to getting better at understanding and accepting emotions. The author, psychologist and podcaster breaks down the intricacies of our emotional world, using personal stories to make the science behind it accessible. He uses Acceptance and Commitment Therapy as a framework to show what real emotional readiness looks like and how it can help you lead a fulfilling life.
The book breaks with the typical notion that only positive emotions are acceptable, instead arguing that all emotions – pleasant and unpleasant alike – are part of life and should be acknowledged.
Klaschinski also provides practical exercises and prompts to create a mindful approach to emotions, including a meditation he recorded himself.
You can listen to a sample of the book here (in German).
More listening material
Klaschinski is both an author and a podcaster. Alongside psychologist, psychotherapist and author Stefanie Stahl, he reaches over three million people a month with his psychology podcast «So bin ich eben» (That’s just me).
Header image: Inzmamkhan/Pexels
Anna Sandner
Senior Editor
Anna.Sandner@galaxus.deScience editor and biologist. I love animals and am fascinated by plants, their abilities and everything you can do with them. That's why my favourite place is always outside - somewhere in nature, preferably in my wild garden.
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