A separation becomes apparent months in advance

Spektrum der Wissenschaft

25.6.2025

Translation: machine translated

Psychologists have identified a kind of tipping point at which a relationship almost inevitably heads towards its end. It can be recognised by a rapid decline in satisfaction.

Relationships can also have tipping points: Once passed, satisfaction with the relationship drops much more sharply than in the months and years before - until it finally comes to a final break. This is the result of a study by psychologists Janina Bühler from the University of Mainz and Ulrich Orth from the University of Bern, who statistically analysed the results of several years of surveys.

According to their publication in the journal «Journal of Personality and Social Psychology», there are between 7 and 28 months, in some cases more than two years, between the point at which satisfaction begins to decline rapidly and the end of the relationship. «Once this phase has been reached, it is invariably followed by a break-up», Bühler told the German Press Agency.

For the partner who finally initiates the separation, the final phase typically lasts longer than for the other partner. However, there is also generally such a transition point in the final phase, in which relationship satisfaction drops rapidly.

It has long been known that relationship satisfaction usually declines somewhat over the course of a romantic relationship, with a particular low point often occurring after around ten years, according to the researchers.

For their analysis, the two scientists analysed four representative long-term studies from Germany, Australia, the UK and the Netherlands. The participants were regularly asked about their relationship and their lives. This meant that the respondents did not have to draw from memory when answering their satisfaction questions - which is known to be prone to error.

Bühler and Orth drew on the survey results from a total of around 12,000 people who went through a separation during the 12 to 21-year survey period. Their statements were compared with a control group of approximately the same size of people who did not separate.

«It is important that we recognise these patterns», explains Bühler in a press release from Mainz University. Usually, partners only seek professional help when they are already in the final phase. However, if they are in the phase before the tipping point, efforts to improve the relationship are more effective, «and a separation can perhaps be prevented», says the psychologist.

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