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What I wish I’d known before I started renovating my kitchen
by Anika Schulz
18 francs would’ve saved me a world of pain
19.10.2022
Translation: Katherine Martin
Slipping in the shower isn’t just painful. It’s dangerous, too. I’ve learned the hard way that a little money could’ve spared me a lot of pain.
It’s 6 a.m. on a Saturday. It’s the weekend and I could be having a lie-in, but instead, I’m wide awake in bed. It’s been a miserable night. No matter which position I adopted, pain kept me awake. The origin of that pain was an unfortunate incident two days before,
on Thursday morning. Shortly after the sound of my alarm ripped me out of my slumber, I hit the shower. The thing is, all I’ve got in my bathroom is a much-too-small tub. It’s so narrow that I can’t stand inside it without my feet touching. I’d soaped up and leaned backwards to wash the shampoo out of my hair when it happened: I slipped.
Although it all happened in a matter of seconds, I experienced it in slow motion. I tried in vain to grab on to something. But instead, I lost my balance and fell backwards, hitting my lower back (roughly where the kidneys are) on the taps with full force, before landing in the tub. I lay motionless for a moment, before it occurred to me that this wasn’t just any old fall. This fall would have consequences.
Get me a non-slip shower mat!
There are fish-shaped ones, fish-print ones and diver-swimming-with-fish-print ones – not my style in the slightest. They look worse than wall stickers. Then there are ones that look like rows of stones or one large stone by itself in black, grey, white or a mixture of shades. All I want is a simple design, not some contrived, feel-good oasis for Facebook aunties in their 40s.
Finally, I hit the jackpot.
Here’s my advice based on the wisdom I’ve gleaned from this experience. Sooner or later, you’re going to fall in the tub. With this in mind, it’s better to invest in a shower mat and put up with the fact that they’re not quite your cup of tea visually. Playa costs about the same as two packs of ibuprofen 400. And in the last few days, that’s only just been enough to keep my pain in check.
I get paid to play with toys all day.
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