13 things that particularly annoy left-handers
13.8.2017
Translation: machine translated
13 August is International Left-handed People's Day. That's why we show solidarity and get annoyed about all the shortcomings that make life difficult for our left-handed friends every day.
I'm right-handed. But since one in ten people in Switzerland is left-handed, I didn't have to look far to find a few people affected. It's always amazing how many small and big things there are that right-handers don't give a second thought to, but which are pure hatred for left-handers. I have collected numerous examples from colleagues and acquaintances that show how difficult it is for the Ned Flanders among us.
The battle at the breakfast buffet
"As I'm almost ambidextrous, I actually manage quite well," Martin tells me. His handicap is a classic first-world problem: "In the hotel, the bread for self-slicing is always upside down on the breakfast buffet. That means I first have to turn it over and take the knife to the other side before I can start. The guest after me will then be annoyed about the same thing."
The writing dilemma
Every left-hander can tell you a thing or two about it. When writing with fountain pens, coloured pencils etc., the paper crumples, the writing smudges and on top of that you have a coloured hand.
Driving a car
Have you ever hired a car in England or New Zealand? It's funny with left-hand gears, isn't it? That's how our dear friends feel right from the start. Our colleague Tanja also complains that she can't support herself with her elbow on her left side when driving: "I secretly worry that my right hand isn't quite as skilful and independent to steer reliably. But that may also have to do with my impaired coordination." And she can no longer hear the question of whether she is left-handed: "No, I write with the wrong hand for fun."
Of scissors, can openers and ergonomic handles
I can still remember the "Simpsons" episode where Homer's neighbour Ned Flanders opened a left-handed business. When Ms Burns subsequently bought a can opener for left-handers, my ten-year-old self thought, what a good joke: there are no can openers for left-handers. Wrong, just like scissors or tools with ergonomic handles, they are designed for right-handers. A misery that flows both ways, as Léonie knows from experience: "I'm not left-handed, but I once bought a pair of left-handed scissors by mistake. I couldn't get a clean cut with them. I feel you, man."
Labelled mugs
Do you have a nice coffee mug in the office with a funny lettering or motif? Hold the mug with your left hand and see what you get to see. With my Moomin mug, I get to stare at Moomin's adorable bum. Could also be an elephant's arse. I admit, that has its appeal too, but do you understand what I'm getting at? The same thing happens with measuring cups, by the way, where the amount of liquid is only at the front if you hold it with your right hand.
Eating next to right-handed people
Something that right-handers also notice is the table situation. If you eat to the left of a left-hander, your elbows will constantly get in each other's way. It's worse than fighting for the armrest on an aeroplane.
Knitting
In addition to the usual smudged hands when writing and twisted scissors, my colleague Ramon laments the ordeal of knitting. In needlework lessons at school, his teacher only showed the movements from the right-handed perspective. For little Ramon, everything was always the wrong way round, which didn't exactly increase his enthusiasm for the noble craft. Perhaps he would have turned into a brave little tailor otherwise.
Game controller
Discrimination also prevails in the gaming world. Whether controllers or mice, almost everything is asymmetrical and designed for right-handers. No one explains how tedious this is better than Eddy from the legendary game programme Game One
.
Instruments
"Find yourself a left-handed piano," a friend wrote to me on Facebook in a semi-serious tone. Of course, I googled it immediately. I already knew that there were left-handed guitars, but I'd never thought about pianos. There, too, the right hand sets the tone. However, as there are no reversed pianos for sale, apart from a few customised models, budding pianists will have to get used to it.
Hot cartridge cases
There is also a two-tier society when it comes to firearms. In Switzerland, this particularly affects many members of the armed forces. Empty cartridge cases fly out of the right side of the 90 assault rifle. As left-handers hold the rifle to the left of their head, the cartridge cases are constantly flying around their ears. A hot kiss when they touch the skin.
Chained ballpoint pens
Another example that has elicited a loud "YES, EXACTLY!" from those affected are chained ballpoint pens such as those found at the post office or newsagents. The already short chain is usually attached at the top right, of course, so that left-handers have even less room to manoeuvre. Scandalous!
Compulsive parenting
Sina's mum belonged to the generation when people thought they had to cure left-handers. "As a child, I was shocked by the behaviour towards left-handers. My mum is actually left-handed. Back then, however, it was unseemly, which is why her left hand was tied up so she could learn to write with her right."
Some relief
We can't completely eradicate the injustice towards left-handers, but perhaps the following aids will at least give you some relief.
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Philipp Rüegg
Senior Editor
Philipp.Rueegg@digitecgalaxus.chBeing the game and gadget geek that I am, working at digitec and Galaxus makes me feel like a kid in a candy shop – but it does take its toll on my wallet. I enjoy tinkering with my PC in Tim Taylor fashion and talking about games on my podcast http://www.onemorelevel.ch. To satisfy my need for speed, I get on my full suspension mountain bike and set out to find some nice trails. My thirst for culture is quenched by deep conversations over a couple of cold ones at the mostly frustrating games of FC Winterthur.
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