Opinion

Pets don’t belong in bed!

Carolin Teufelberger
29.10.2018
Translation: Eva Francis

Sharing your night-time sanctuary with a four-legged friend? Not me! The first thing I think of is breathing in dog hair and being smeared with faecal bacteria. But does reality reflect the images in my head?

Pets are awesome! Even if no-one else is excited about your existence, your dog definitely is. In they bound with tongue and tail wagging as soon as you get inside your door. They get you out into the fresh air on a regular basis and always want to have fun. I’m ambivalent when it comes to cats, but they have their plus sides too.

The very idea disgusts me

Stroking, playing and cuddling is all fine, but there’s a line that I just won’t cross: pets in bed. My bed belongs to me and no-one else. Well, maybe one other person, but that’s it. I’m not sharing my bedroom with an animal that sheds hair every two seconds, traipses everywhere with its bare feet and has a damp nose all the time. Gross!

Admittedly, I even found it tough to get used to my boyfriend in my bed. At least we had different shifts and sleeping patterns at the time, so I could get accustomed to it gradually. And my boyfriend takes a shower every day, unlike a four-legged friend, and doesn’t eat other people’s poo on the way home. That’s why I wouldn’t let a dog under my duvet in my wildest dreams. Just the thought of it makes me gag.

It’s also tough to banish pets from your bedroom once you’ve let them in. Their little heart will break if they can’t be by your side. The result is whining all night long, so it’s best not to do it in the first place.

What do the experts say?

Is this subjective aversion backed up by science, or am I just a whinger put off by a few harmless hairs? The answer lies somewhere in between.

Who’s the boss here?

From a purely objective point of view, you can have your pets in bed with you without affecting your health, as long as you follow a few rules. But I still think it’s gross. And what about romance? How am I supposed to perform with two sad eyes looking up at me? That isn’t my idea of a ménage à trois. Pets have a place in my heart, but not in my bed.

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My life in a nutshell? On a quest to broaden my horizon. I love discovering and learning new skills and I see a chance to experience something new in everything – be it travelling, reading, cooking, movies or DIY.


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