Opinion
Baby needs new shoes or why children’s shoes get on my nerves
by Michael Restin
My killer hack for kids’ sports kicks
23.2.2022
Translation: Jessica Johnson-Ferguson
I’m fed up with tying shoelaces all the time. Fuelled by the fact that my under 7s soccer players are always asking me to tie their laces, I’m experimenting with Velcro cable tie. The first results aren’t pretty, but they’re promising.
Before I get to the point, I need to untangle my backstory for you. It involves many detours and the situation is more complicated than it first appears. I know, I know, humanity has more pressing problems than undone laces. Besides, learning to tie shoelaces is a great way for kids to sharpen their fine-motor skills. We want them to be standing on their own two feet, not on their laces, right? Unfortunately, six-year-olds rarely succeed at this when they’re playing soccer. Laces come undone left, right and centre. I also happen to know that tying laces isn’t a challenge exclusive to children. Even adults have admitted on stage that they were tying their shoes incorrectly for years. Others are furiously googling «shoelaces without tying». Why do I know all of this? Because it’s not the first time I’ve spoken out about failed tying techniques and got a lot of feedback in return.
I now know I should avoid the granny knot. That’s the one where the first knot and the loop are tied in the same direction. I also know that Ian’s Knot is fast to tie and that I should be safe with the double slip knot. I suspect that’s why the metal band Slipknot is so angry – probably their knot keeps coming undone, too. I’ve also found that science takes this issue seriously. Researchers have discovered why knots come undone in the first place when you’re running. It’s to do with inertia. And they don’t mean the inertia that afflicts us when we have to bend down to tie laces for the umpteenth time.
I know that Community member janbrunner is miles ahead of me with his technique, which he picked up from ten-year-old orienteers. He describes it as follows: «I start by tying a regular shoe knot, tie off one loop through the other, and then alternately crochet-style pull both ends through each remaining loop.»
I can follow up to here, but am lost as the instructions go on: «After a few centimetres of crocheting, you finish without a loop and optionally tuck and fix into place the remaining laces with the lacing. Unfortunately, I can’t find a picture description, but the method survives well while orienteering in thorny terrain and can be undone relatively quickly.» I know this knot serves its purpose well, but it doesn’t work for me. Because I know that even after the thousandth attempt, my brain will only think one thing when I’m kneeling in front of a six-year-old, lacing in a mirrored fashion, while at least three other kids are talking my ear off: «Huh????»
I know that I know nothing
Sure, snigger at me all you like. But what I still don’t know is how to tie the shoes of a bunch of fidgety soccer kids in a reasonable amount of time with my thick thumbs and so that they stay closed, even if the kids step on each other’s feet. Most of the time, my knots turn into a fingernail-breaking monster bobble in the matter of minutes – a knot far more complex than any match plan by Pep Guardiola. This in turn makes the next lacing session extremely tricky for me. In short, I’ve had enough. Now, I’m relying on Velcro cable ties.
Cable ties
Quantity discount
CHF7.65 per piece for 3 units CHF0.85/1pcs.
Bemero Velcro cable tie 16015BK-MP 10 pcs.
Velcro cable ties, 160 mm, 10 pcs.
They can be shortened, pulled through the tongue tab and closed around the loop. Or tied around the knot. I know, it’s not the prettiest solution. But it does save me a lot of knotting. This standard knot – most likely even an amateurishly tied granny knot – held up throughout an entire game. Thanks to Velcro.
Michael Restin
Senior Editor
Michael.Restin@digitecgalaxus.chSimple writer and dad of two who likes to be on the move, wading through everyday family life. Juggling several balls, I'll occasionally drop one. It could be a ball, or a remark. Or both.
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