14 February is International Condom Day – go figure!

Use a condom. The world doesn't need another you.

Expired condoms are like nuclear waste: there's nothing sensible you can do with it.

Presumptuous because you bought the condoms or because you got the Magnum size?

Condoms aren't completely safe. A friend of mine was wearing one and got hit by a bus.

There's a new medical crisis. Doctors are reporting that many men are having allergic reactions to latex condoms. They say they cause severe swelling. So what's the problem?

Condoms should be marked in 3 sizes: jumbo, colossal and super colossal, so that men do not have to go in and ask for the small.

President Bush was in Los Angeles yesterday where he announced his new campaign theme – «Safer, Stronger, and Tested.» Isn't that a condom ad?

You must always remember, the most important fashion accessory is the condom.

Some want prayer in school, some want condoms. Printing prayers on condoms satisfies nobody.

An amicable divorce is like a ventilated condom; it just doesn't work.

Having sex without a condom is like riding a roller coaster with diarrhea. You can't just throw your hands up and enjoy it.

No balloon, no party.