Gebrauchsanweisung für Amerika

Never, really never take your hand out of your pocket. Only possibly for a greeting. Expect to be overtaken from both the left and the right. Always remember to pay attention to "a.m." or "p.m." when making appointments. Just don't forget your credit card. Be creditworthy in general! Always turn the heating up to full blast and switch on the air conditioning at the same time. Practice spelling. Familiarize yourself with yards, inches, and feet. Never ask for the restroom; an American will only say "to the bathroom." Be prepared for some taboos as well. And trust Paul Watzlawick's guidance blindly, which has brought us uniquely close to America for 30 years.