Der Haben-Wollen-Reflex

Why do we always emulate others and want to have what they want? The answer lies deep in human nature: We are all driven by a mimetic desire, an imitative desire, whereby people or things are irresistibly attractive to us as soon as they are already desired by others. This "wanting to have" gives rise to jealousy, envy, and violence. So how can we free ourselves from it?

Luke Burgis explains the psychological and sociological background of mimetic desire in an entertaining and well-founded way at the same time: Apart from basic needs such as food and drink, we don't actually know what we really want. Our wishes and desires are socially shaped from the very beginning: they are based on what others consider desirable, or on what a time or a fashion idealizes as alleged needs. Thus, our "wanting to have" for the sake of "wanting to have" basically revolves around an empty center that can never truly satisfy us. We become a manipulable plaything of our apparent desires.

This impacts all areas of life, such as career goals, our clothing style, and even our choice of partner. Advertising, influencers and social media use it for their own purposes by awakening a desire for their products in us, and in the final analysis, serious conflicts and even wars can arise from this, when we fight doggedly with others over something that supposedly everyone wants.

This is where Luke Burgis comes in. We learn to recognize and question the reasons for our imitative desires. This clears the way to find the desires that really matter to us and fulfill us in the long run. Very concrete tactics on how to cheat the mimetic desire within us and regain self-control round out this highly topical book.