Guide

My corpse in the cupboard

2.9.2018

Translation: machine translated

I was very attached to my table tennis racket. Now it's gone. No wonder: I neglected and mistreated it for years. The verdict: manslaughter. Don't do what I did. Choose your racket carefully and spare her the torture.

If this were a real criminal case, Daniel Gubler would have crushed me with a backhand. When it comes to abuse, nothing escapes the director of Tischtennis Gubler. I can see him as a racquet pathologist.

Grilled and finished at the pool

Daniel Gubler flips through the peeled layers of the snowshoe and reads them as if they were a book. It's rather easy, because at the back is the date when the various coatings were glued onto the racket at home. "2005," he says, shaking his head. Of course, the racket has been unusable for ages. Just by looking at the wear on the coating before, he's able to tell whether the player was any good or not. And then there's a suspicious-looking layer for whom things have really gone wrong. The diagnosis: 'sun damage'.

Probably fried and therefore killed at the pool

Welcome to the pathology of table tennis: we discover all the mistreatment inflicted on the racket.

I think shamefully of my snowshoe corpse in the cellar. The racket that probably had its first and only coating glued on back when Twix was still called Raider. And to which I've had to inflict just about every imaginable suffering, even though I liked it. I don't even know if we got on well together. I simply liked her and she wasn't cheap either, but was my level suited to hers? I doubt it. In the video (in German), you'll discover some basic things you should bear in mind when choosing a racket.

Firecrackers, grenades and catapults

Three lessons I've learned from this conversation and my past mistakes:

1. Don't buy a firecracker if you're not a grenade

If the racket doesn't match your level of play, you won't enjoy playing. A "firecracker" like in the video - so a racket that's super fast and therefore hard to control - should only land in the hands of players who play like grenades. Players like Pedro Osiro. (The article below is in German.)

video
Background information
Top talent vs. dilettante: Happy without a chance in the table tennis lesson
by Michael Restin

The speed of a racket depends on several factors: the wood, the rubber coating and the foam underneath. The thicker the layer of foam, the greater its catapulting effect - and therefore speed -. Note: Speed is good. Control is even better. So check the properties of the racket you're interested in.

Table tennis bats

CHF33.90

Gubler Racket Swiss-Line

View all racquets

2. Nothing is for eternity

This is especially true of the coating on your racquet. If it's too damaged, you can no longer play with spin (rotation of the ball around its own axis) or proper spin and are forced to adjust your shots. Professionals change their rubbers every few weeks; amateurs should do so once or twice a year. If the ball is sliding without resistance on the rubber, it's high time to change it. Depending on the price range you're in and how you've developed your game, you might also consider changing rackets straight away. I didn't do any of that and I regret it today.

3. The sun and snowshoes don't mix

UV rays quickly weaken the coating and make it unusable. So your racket has no business in the blazing sun. Table tennis isn't an indoor sport for nothing, and if you care at all about your racket, you protect it and put it straight back in its cover after playing. I used to have one myself. But I really don't know where it's gone.

Table tennis accessories

Butterfly Covering protection film

Table tennis accessories

Butterfly racket cover

The autopsy on the corpse in my closet

Sensitive souls should turn their heads now, because early signs of decomposition are visible.

Dissecting the corpse: the brittle wood, moss layer and lining of my corpse.

It's really not a pretty sight. But it also brings back good memories, because I was once proud of this racket. When it slowly started to deteriorate and its surface no longer adhered, I unfortunately didn't replace it. I even think that, in my mad youth, I tried to glue the surface back on with lacquer, hoping that it would do some good. But it didn't. The racket ended up in a basement cupboard, and has been there for a few years now. I was punished for it anyway. After an ambitious start, I now suck at table tennis. That said, everyone has a corpse in the cupboard. You certainly do too. Or do you?

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Michael Restin

Senior Editor

Michael.Restin@digitecgalaxus.ch

Simple writer and dad of two who likes to be on the move, wading through everyday family life. Juggling several balls, I'll occasionally drop one. It could be a ball, or a remark. Or both.

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