"I stay completely with myself"
25.9.2025
Translation: machine translated
The Galaxus own-brand wave is rolling. This brings new additions to the range that don't reinvent the world, but aim to impress with a good price. Like the new thermos flask.
Since I gave one of the first own-brand products, a T-shirt, a stage here in the magazine in spring, more have been popping up. It seems to me that the department responsible for this is bursting with ideas. So let's take a closer look at what the new thermos flask can do.
Hello Thermos ... May I address you like this?
Thermos: Yes, that fits. Internally they call me 54445525, like the article number in the shop. But nobody can remember that. So I'm pleased that I got a name in the product description by mistake.
How did that happen?
It must have been a faux pas on the part of the copywriter, who made up what to read in the own brands at «product description». Now in stock, other products often contain a lot of rubbish. Presumably generated by AI. Or made up by coke-sniffing marketing people. Or a combination of both. Either way, for me it says quite matter-of-factly: «The Thermos drinking bottle holds 0.5 litres and is suitable for hot and cold drinks.» I like it because it's so simple.
Speaking of simple: you hardly stand out in the range of drinking bottles and thermos flasks.
How am I supposed to stand out?
How am I supposed to stand out? There are over 12,000 bottles at Galaxus. You'll only stand out if you're either a horrible colour or you dress up like you're something better - like those Stanley mug guys. Pff! I'd rather stick to myself.
That means specifically?
Everything about me screams mainstream. I hold half a litre, have a screw cap, am black and made of metal. That's what people want. At least that's what a lot of people want. At least that's what the own-brand people at Galaxus, who also invented me, say. Between you and me: I don't think they're allowed to be particularly creative, they just want to sell a lot.
Do you think that will work?
I don't want to brag too much, but look at me. Am I not well proportioned? Don't I feel good? You can look good with me in the office or at the gym. I'm confident that I can also cut a good figure on a hike.
Are you cool enough for that too?
Ha, a joker! I guess that's supposed to be a funny transition to my ability to keep the contents particularly warm or cold.
Oh yes, you caught me out.
That's all right, I'm used to it from you journalists. So, to the point: Of course I keep tea warm and something cold stays cold in me. The product data states a heat retention time of eight hours.
I don't find that particularly impressive, there's a thermos flask competitor that supposedly manages 24 hours.
What, really now?! That would be three times as long. Whew! I'd love to know how the others endured these tests. I just found the procedure exhausting.
Other bottles probably keep cold for longer too ...
Yes, yes! Although I have to say that I don't believe everything it says. Because unlike keeping warm, there is no standard test for the cooling time.
How was this done in your case?
First, I was taken into a room that was 30 degrees centigrade. There, a couple of guys in lab coats poured four-degree cold water into me. Brrr! What a shock. I was able to keep the water quite cool: After eight hours, it was only just over twelve degrees.
Source: Manuel Wenk
The bottle from Chilly's supposedly keeps a drink cold for 24 hours.
And you believe that? You dreamer, you! Let me tell you something: If I had anything to say, it would say 24 hours on my bottle. It's just that nobody is allowed to open the bottle in between and I have to stand in an igloo for those 24 hours - then everything inside me stays nice and cold forever. But no, the product managers at Galaxus prefer not to give a value at all. Stupidly, they always want to be so honest.
So you think such specifications are unfair?
What a stupid question! Of course they're rubbish. You can't imagine how those snobs from Chilly's, Sigg and co. always brag about it. But I've got an idea: you do have something to report to the editorial team. Couldn't you organise a comparison test? Me against a few of these posers. Let's see who lasts longer in a real practical test.
You haven't been so friendly to me in the interview so far. But okay, let's do this
Hey, thanks! And sorry, I didn't mean to come across as rude. But you hit a sore spot with me with those stupid time specifications.
Sorry about that. Then I'll see you next time for the test.
Jo, see you then. Can I say something else?
Sure.
Do people know that they can still buy me? After all, I'm a real bargain compared to the other guys.
You really want to talk about the price?
(smiles sarcastically) Is that your sore point? I already know that you have trouble with customers from time to time because of the constantly changing prices. For me it's a fixed 19 francs. Fair and stable.
So, you've got rid of that. That's the end of the interview. Thank you. And see you at the test then.
Header image: Manuel Wenk
Martin Jungfer
Head of Content
Martin.Jungfer@digitecgalaxus.chJournalist since 1997. Stopovers in Franconia (or the Franken region), Lake Constance, Obwalden, Nidwalden and Zurich. Father since 2014. Expert in editorial organisation and motivation. Focus on sustainability, home office tools, beautiful things for the home, creative toys and sports equipment.
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