17 January is Throw Your Year's Resolutions Overboard Day - what have you resolved to do?
Finally use your fitness subscription. Or try out all the healthy food available in the gourmet shops. Go a year without swearing. Who hasn't heard of all those New Year's resolutions? And 2018 is no exception. But you can find out why there is a notable anomaly in this matrix here.
It's New Year's Eve, it's 2017 and you quickly make one or two New Year's resolutions. Because you know that everyone at the office, at home or at the sports club will be asking you about them: What are your resolutions for 2018? In the following sections, I'll explain the most frequently mentioned or heard dos and don'ts and why they won't play a role on 17 January. [[image:10726242]]
Green as far as the eye can see
Guaranteed to be an evergreen: healthy food. Many have attempted this insurmountable hurdle, and just as many have failed. Well, maybe 2018 is your year and you can do it this time. I definitely believe in you. But, hey, please be careful: because if you decide to eat healthily, remember that your food is the food for my food. [[image:10726129]]
Run, Forrest, run!
It's the third year and the second reminder, but the first time you've actually went to the gym. It's not for nothing that you're a permanent member and a VIP, so to speak. Wouldn't it be great if you actually made an appearance? Then your fans could take a photo with you or get your autograph. Your body is so 2017 - but, as the saying goes: What you can do today, you can do just as well tomorrow. [[video:72277]]
Shut the f*** up
A weekend without a curse word at last. That should be possible, shouldn't it? A whole week without "shit", "kiss my arse" and "tammisiech". It really can't be that difficult, can it? Just shut the fuck up and let it go. Some people should take this resolution to heart, if I may be honest. And I don't just look in the mirror, I also look past it. [[image:10726221]]
More time for the family
Your mum - yes, I really mean that - hardly knows you anymore. To be honest, you've let yourself go a bit in the last 27 years. So that she doesn't fear a potential grandchild scammer, it's best to take a valid ID with you. It doesn't matter whether you identify yourself with an ID, driving licence or SwissPass - the main thing is that it's yours. [[image:10726270]]
Learning the Bible by heart
No, that would be a bit of an exaggeration. But, while we're on the topic: When was the last time you opened a book? And actually read it to the end? No, a WhatsApp message over several lines doesn't count. Neither do adverts or flyers. A book, with real letters, words and whole sentences. Yep, they still exist. [[product:6510959,2421665,2546234]]
A pet brings variety
It doesn't always have to be a cat or a dog. Nowadays, everyone has guinea pigs, rabbits or mice in their home. Sometimes even unknowingly, hidden somewhere behind the wardrobe, under the bed or in the toilet. It's best to take a quick look next time - trust is good, control is better. The possibilities are endless. And if you are alone at the moment: a pet is happily waiting for you at home. A small surprise or gift is usually included. [[image:10726411]]
No alcohol
Your liver will be eternally grateful. And so will your friends the next time you go out drinking together. As will the law enforcement officers, judges and cell guards. And of course your girlfriend - if she still sticks by you after your last escapade. Why don't you try coziness, calm and cosiness... or something like that. Okay, a glass is fine - it makes the transition less painful. [[image:10726324]]
13 weeks of holidays
What I would give to be a student again. So many holidays, so many days off. If you want to fulfil this dream in 2018, there's a simple solution. Okay, admittedly, it's not that simple. But: become a teacher and you can enjoy another 13 weeks' holiday. If you try really hard, you might even make it this year so that you can sit back and relax in 2019. [[image:10727687]]
Offline is in
Yes, you read that right: offline is all the rage at the moment. So, as soon as you've finished reading this text, switch off your mobile, close the Web-WhatsApp, Facebook and YouTube tabs in your browser and only work online if your work absolutely requires it. Otherwise, I don't want to read any emails, direct messages or posts from you for the next two weeks. All right? [[image:10727808]]
No smoke signals
As a non-smoker, this topic only affects me peripherally. Nevertheless, I have it on good authority that many smokers are trying to give up stubs, lighters and eighteen smoke breaks a day in the new year. What kind of agony must that be when I see the puffers sucking on their cigarettes with relish? Hard to imagine. That's why only very few people really manage to quit. [[video:72324]]
New day, old bad luck
But don't forget: on 18 January, all the fun is over. Then you can eat healthily again, exercise and stop forgetting birthdays. All the great resolutions that have been forgotten will once again become the bitter seriousness of life. But, as I said, not until Thursday. So you still have some time left to trample all your resolutions underfoot. [[image:10726142]]
When I'm not stuffing my face with sweets, you'll catch me running around in the gym hall. I’m a passionate floorball player and coach. On rainy days, I tinker with my homebuilt PCs, robots or other gadgets. Music is always my trusted companion. I also enjoy tackling hilly terrain on my road bike and criss-crossing the country on my cross-country skis.